Real Sisters Trilogy: The Second Best

18

“Avi, could you please stop?” hindi na mapigilang sitahin ni Case ito. Mula kaninang umaga, pabalik-balik ito sa pintuan. Lakad rito, lakad roon. Wala na itong ibang ginawa kung hindi magpaikot-ikot sa loob ng opisina niya. “Nahihilo ako sa 'yo. Hindi ka pa ba napapagod?”

“Sorry.” umupo ito sa couch na katapat niya. Pero hindi pa nag-iinit ang pwet nito ay tumayo na ito agad at naglakad na naman sa tapat ng pinto.

“Okay ka lang ba?”

“Hmm?”

“Bakit ka ba palakad-lakad? Ano bang problema mo?”

“Wala. I'm okay.” tinitigan niya si Avi. Matagal na silang magkakilala nito. Mula yata ng magka-isip siya kilala na niya si Avi.

No, hindi sila magkababata. Hindi siya kilala ni Avi hanggang sa maging mag-kaklase sila noong Grade 4 sila. But for Case, Avi will always be there. He will always know her. He will always see her even though she doesn't look at him at all. His feelings will always be the same, in every way. Because she is Avi. And there's no one, none ever, can replace her.

“Ate Gab! Gusto ko po ng ice cream. Sige na. Limang piso lang, eh.”

“Hala! Ang pogi nga ng bago nating classmate, anong pangalan niya?”

“Papa, sorry hindi ko nakuha 'yong full scholarship. Natalo po ako ng kaklase ko papa. Sorry po.”

“Ano? Hindi ko crush 'yon, 'no? Sino magkaka-crush doon kay Case kung ang baho baho niya? Hindi ko crush 'yon. Dinaya niya rin ako noon sa quiz bee kaya siya nanalo.”

“Papa, salutatorian ako. Promise, papa next time gagalingan ko pa para valedictorian naman. Sorry, papa hindi ako Valedictorian ah. Sa susunod promise, papa kayang-kaya ko na maging valedictorian.”

“Alam niyo, elementary pa lang, bwisit na bwisit na ko dyan kay Dionisio. Pahirap 'yan sa buhay ko. Lagi na lang kami magkalaban ng lalaking 'yan. Sana kasi hindi na ko sinusundan n'yan.”

“Hoy, Case!” nagulat siya ng biglang hinampas ni Avi ang mesa niya. Napatingin siya dito. Kanina pa ba siyang nakatulala?

“Why are you always mad at me?”

“Pinagsasasabi mo, Case?”

“Why are you so mad at me? Ano bang nagawa ko bakit ganyan ka sa akin?”

She shrugs. “Napa-praning ka na yata.” iiling-iling na sagot nito sa kanya.

“Yeah, right.” turo niya dito. “You used to call me Case. Then one day, bigla ka na lang nagbago. You stopped calling me Case. You stopped talking to me. You stopped... everything. We used to be so close, Avi. Tapos nagbago ka na lang bigla. What happened to you? What happened to us?”

“Hindi kita maintindihan. We were enemies, Dionisio. Tayong dalawa ang magkalaban sa lahat ng bagay. Opponents, enemies, nemesis. We were born to compete with each other. Mula noon hanggang ngayon, tayong dalawa ang magkatapat. Don't you see it? We were each other's competition. Kumpetisyon na kahit kailan hindi ko maipanalo.”

“Maybe because you are looking at it at the wrong side. Because for me, you were never a competition. I don't see you as an enemy, Avi. You are my equal.”

“Your equal? Not your enemy, bakit? Because you think that I cannot fight you? I will be never your equal, Case. I am not even as good as you. Sige nga. Sabihin mo sa akin, natalo na ba kita kahit minsan? Hindi, 'di ba? Magaling ka, eh. Sobrang galing mo. Ang hirap mong kalabanin, ang hirap mong pantayan. Ang hirap mong talunin.”

And then she cried. She cried in front of him and he can't move an inch to comfort her. Bakit ganoon? Bakit parang masama siya sa paningin nito? Anong nagawa niya para makaramdam itong hindi sila pantay o hindi sila pwedeng maging magkapareho.

“I don't know, Avi. Hindi ko maintindihan. Para sa akin, hindi ka less smarter. Para sa akin, hindi bawas ang galing mo. Para sa akin, you are good enough. You are more than enough for me, Avi. Why do you feel devalued? Sa tingin mo ba being second in those things means there's a competition between us? Do you think you are not doing a great job because you can't beat me? Sa tingin mo ba mas magaling ako kung laging ako 'yong una sa 'yo?

Avi, do you think that you are weak just because I am always on top of you? Pwes, mali ka. Hindi ganoon 'yon. Hindi totoo 'yon. Kasi para sa akin, you will always be the best. You are my first. Always my first.”

“Case—”

“This is more painful for me, Avi. If I can go back in time, I will do everything I can to stop myself from achieving my goals so that you can beat me in everything that we do. Hindi naman importante sa akin ang mauna, Avi. You are much more valuable. You are more than my first golds.”

“Case, lagi akong pangalawa lang sa iyo. Lagi akong pangalawa mo, pangalawa sa magaling. I never got the chance to take a full scholarship kasi ikaw laging nakakakuha noon. I was never fond of silvers but I learned to live with it and get over it dahil kapag ikaw ang kaharap ko, matik na, silver medalist lang ako. Silvers are for losers. I can't be happy with my silver kasi lagi kong naiisip, I am just a silver because you were the gold. That you are better than me. I am a loser at ikaw ang laging panalo.”

“Then stop, Avi. Learn to stop seeing things as competition. Your achievements are your pride. Huwag mong hayaan na talunin ka ng weakness mo. You are good as me, Avi. You are greater than me. Kaya nga nandito ako dahil sa iyo. I always loved you. And I loved you more at those times you are beating yourself up because you think you weren't good enough... but you do. You always do. That won't stop me from loving you.”

Nakatanga lang ito sa kanya. He frowned. What's wrong with her? Huli na nang maisip niya ang sinabi niya.

Did I... did I just fucking confessed?

“Anong sabi mo, Dionisio?”

“Avi... ano kasi—”

“You love me? Hindi ko maintindihan. Bakit? Paano? Kailan?”

“Avi!”

Lalapitan niya sana ito pero bigla itong humakbang paatras. Seeing her walking out after his declaration is really painful. Ito na nga ba ang sinasabi niya. What's the use of the golds when he can't have her?

Anong silbi ng pagiging top 1 niya sa lahat kung hindi man lang siya magiging una para kay Avi?

“Ms. Colleen? Sir Julian?” pagtawag sa kanila ni Megan. “Nandito na po 'yong magsisira sa pinto niyo.”

Wrong timing.