Lazarus

Chapter 3

When dinner rolled around I was told my new rules, that I was to eat last, even after the omegas. I could sit with the pack, but I was not to speak or make eye contact with anyone. I'm not sure if Lazarus believes this will be a punishment for me, but I'm perfectly fine not speaking to the pack. The only pack members who were decent towards me were the doctor and the girl from earlier, other than that, I get dirty looks. Despite not having any part in executing Odessa and Delilah, I'm blamed for it. I had insults thrown my way, shoved into the wall, and had things thrown at me. If my pack's fate wasn't up in the air right now, I would have gladly put these members in their place.

I slowly poked my head into the dining hall, frowning at the remaining food. Pursing my lips in thought, I turned and headed back to my room, having no appetite. The stress of today had eaten away at me, causing my head to spin, my stomach to turn, and my hands to shake. I can't bring myself to take a small bite of food, afraid I'd throw it back up. Releasing a breath, I stopped in the hall, my eyes drawn to the window. I silently leaned against the wall as I peered out into the night, noting there were storm clouds rolling in. Angry clouds slowly began hiding the moon, taking away what little light were in the halls. Sighing once more, I turned back towards my bedroom door, my body losing its energy.

"You didn't eat."

I spun around to see Lazarus standing at the end of the hall, his ice-like eyes shining brilliantly in the darkness. I shrugged, "I can't eat."

"And why is that?"

"I feel sick to my stomach, I'm not exactly in the mood to throw up."

He tilted his head a little, his eyes slowly trailing down my body. There was something in his expression, it seemed as if there was a longing mixed within his staring eyes. I quietly scoffed at myself, I must be losing my mind if I think he's even slightly attracted to me.

"Are you sick?" He questioned as he began walking towards me.

I shook my head, "No. Just had a very eventful day, stress tends to steal my appetite. Why are you following me anyway?"

"The doctor told me something rather interesting."

"And that is?"

He grabbed me by the shoulder and turned me around before lifting my shirt. I gasped in shock and tried pulling it back down, knowing exactly what he was looking at. I squirmed out of his grip, almost stumbling onto the ground in the process.

"Why is your back so scarred?" He asked, folding his arms across his chest.

I hugged myself, my wide eyes staring at him as if he had two heads. My heart hammered against my chest, my mind trying to fabricate a lie to feed him. If he knew my parents whipped me then he'd use that against me, he'll figure out how traumatizing that is for me.

"That's none of your concern," I spat out, allowing my anger to mask the panic.

He raised an eyebrow, "If you are to be my mate, it is my concern."

"I'm not your real mate, Alpha. Now, I'm turning in for the night. Goodnight."

I didn't give him a chance to reply, I had quickly slammed my door shut and slid down against it. I hugged my knees to my chest as the memories of my punishments flashed through my mind. They told me it was my fault, I deserved the whip, the beatings, the harsh words, everything. I believe them, I knew I wasn't perfect when I was younger and even now, I'm not close to what I should be. If my parents could see me now they would be disappointed, telling me how weak I have become.

I sat within the darkness for a while longer, waiting for the anxiety to melt away so I would be able to sleep. I eventually pulled myself up on shaking legs and took a deep breath, telling myself I needed to toughen up. I can't allow him to get to me like this, to pull out my insecurities and make me vulnerable. He doesn't need to try and make me believe he cares, I know manipulation when I see it. I won't give him the chance to destroy me, to make me a shell of who I am.

I hugged a pillow to my chest as I stared at the wall, ignoring the sunlight that filtered through my curtains. I felt nothing but emptiness, my eyes were puffy and irritated from the tears my nightmares had caused last night. I shoved my face into the pillow, groaning loudly. With my old home being destroyed and being forced to live here, I didn't have my medication with me to help keep my depression and anxiety from creeping up. However, I wouldn't tell Lazarus that, I can't afford to have him know anything else about me. He already knows about the scars on my back and knowing him, he'll eventually figure out that I was whipped. If he knew he could torture me by hanging my medicine in my face, it would drive me close to insanity.

I jumped at the sound of a gentle knock on my door, pulling my attention towards the wooden object. I didn't say a word, figuring they'll just let themselves in any way. The door slowly opened to reveal Alexandra and the girl from yesterday, both of them eyeing me cautiously.

"Yes?" I asked.

Alexandra cleared her throat, "You didn't come down for breakfast this morning, we were worried."

Raising an eyebrow, I turned back around, not in the mood to have this conversation. While I can believe the girl being truly troubled by my actions, I doubt Alexandra is.

"Yeah right, Lazarus probably sent you. He's not going to manipulate me."

"Manipulate you? Lazarus is the worst at manipulating people," Alexandra laughed. "That guy may look tough, but when he tries to manipulate people, prank people or joke around, he's awful at it."

"It's embarrassing to watch sometimes," the girl chuckled.

"Do you know how many times his brother or I had to slap him on the back of the head at meetings?"

I turned back around, frowning at them. They seemed serious, their eyes were lit with amusement as they talked about Lazarus making a fool of himself. Their laughter wasn't forced and the smiles were genuine, but why worry about me? Alexandra hated me just yesterday and well, I'm not surprised with the other girl.

"Why do you two care?" I asked softly, attempting to keep the uncertainty and accusation from my tone.

The girl furrowed her eyebrows, "Why wouldn't we? You may be from another pack and that pack may be our enemy, but we aren't going to judge you before actually knowing you. Plus...I saw the scars."

"Gods, does everyone know?" I groaned, shoving my face in the pillow again.

"No, just me....Alexandra, Azrael and Alpha Lazarus."

"He's surprisingly very concerned about your scars," Alexandra piped up.

I peeked an eye out, "He is?"

"Yeah. Listen, he may put on a front to look like an ass, but he's honestly the most caring person you'll meet. You're a tool to him, something to use against your parents but he doesn't hate you. Don't get me wrong, he doesn't trust you and he won't be friendly any time soon. But he also cares about your well-being and if your parents abused you, that's something that needs to be reported to the council. Abuse isn't accepted in the human world and neither in our world," Alexandra explained.

I leaned back against the headboard of the bed, going over what she had said. "He's against abuse?"

"Yes. He's very strict with it and if anyone in the pack is caught abusing their partner, pup or anyone else, he handles them. He doesn't put up with it."

"So...were you abused?"

"Margaret, you can't just ask someone that."

"Why not?"

"Because it's a sensitive subject, we've been over this."

I chuckled quietly at their bickering before interrupting, "It's fine, and no...I don't think so. I deserved my punishments."

"What?" Mildred gasped. "No one deserves that!"

"I failed multiple lessons, skipped training sometimes, and mouthed off to them. Also snuck out once."

Alexandra frowned, "That still doesn't warrant whipping you."

"I thought-

"Forget what you thought. What they did is abuse, Persephone."

A/N: Oi vey, 31 chapters in this book that I have to bring over here. Don't worry, it will also remain on Inkitt. I just know some of my readers here don't like inkitt.