Lazarus

Chapter 4

I stared at them for a few moments, "No...my parents loved me though. They wouldn't abuse me if they loved me."

They both gaped at me as if they couldn't believe I was saying what I said. I couldn't understand why they found this so difficult to comprehend. My entire life I was told that was the correct way, that I deserved it for not being a perfect daughter. My grandparents did it to my father and he turned out fine, he had a close relationship with them. So, why is it so awful to them?

"They seriously brainwashed you," Alexandra whispered.

I rolled my eyes, "I wasn't brainwashed."

"But you think-

"Can we please just let it go?' I murmured, growing uncomfortable.

They silently nodded, I let out a small sigh of relief and fell silent. I hugged a pillow to my chest as we all seemed to try and process what had just transpired. I know as more pack members notice my scarred back the more questions I'll receive. It'll eventually melt into questions about my mental health if I were on medicine or not. I idly began to think of the medicine that was left behind, wondering if I would begin to feel the withdrawal symptoms. My mind continued to jump from one thing to the next, my ears becoming deaf to Alexandra and Margaret. It wasn't until Alexandra's fingers were suddenly snapping before my eyes that I was yanked from whatever zoned-out place I was stuck in.

"What?" I frowned, giving them a bewildered look.

Margaret sighed, "Are you sure you're okay? Maybe you should have a mental health exam."

"I'm fine. A lot has happened. Try having your pack mostly killed, believing your parents are dead only to find out they aren't, and then being forced to become your enemy's mate. You wouldn't be all smiles and sunshine either."

My tone was harsher than I meant for it to be, but it irritated me that they were so ignorant. They can't possibly expect someone to go through what I dealt with and be completely fine hours later. I let out a quiet groan before turning onto my side, giving them my back as a hint to leave me be. I didn't want to talk to anyone, especially not about my family or past.

"Hey, we're sorry if we upset you."

I bit my lip as Margaret's apology reached my ears, slowly processing in my mind. I didn't trust anyone, I couldn't help but be apprehensive of opening up, even if I tell them just a little bit. From the corner of my eye, I saw Margaret raise her hand, causing the hairs on my arms to stand up. I wasn't able to stop my reaction, to stop myself from scrambling off of my bed and instantly getting into a defensive stance. I could practically hear my heart hammering against my chest as the adrenaline raced through my veins.

It took a few moments until it registered in my brain that she wasn't going to cause any harm, instantly I could feel my face heat up with fresh embarrassment.

"Sorry..."

I couldn't say anything else, there was nothing else to say. I felt humiliated and weak. I always despised when I allowed my emotions and fears to get the better of me, morphing me into a frightened child. Taking a deep breath, I forced a smile.

"I'm honestly really tired, thank you for checking on me but I think I'm going to take a nap," I said as calmly as I could.

They eyed me carefully but decided to leave, sensing I was on edge. Once I was alone with my self-pity, I shoved my face into my pillow and curled up. I let out a small breath and shifted my face so I wasn't being suffocated by my pillow. The pain that encased my heart slowly seeped through my veins, bringing memories of my pack to the forefront of my mind. I was curious about how they were doing, how they'll find shelter while the packhouse is rebuilt, how they'll feed themselves with our territory being mostly ruined. I don't doubt my parents will figure it out, but I couldn't help be concerned for the pack's well-being. Hugging the pillow tightly to my chest, I continued staring out the window until the sun began dipping below the horizon.