Lazarus

Chapter 30

Moonlight shined down onto the roses, turning them silver as we slowly walked through the garden. I nervously played with the edges of my dress, chewing on the inside of my cheek as the silence surrounded us.

"I'm sorry."

His words shocked me as if lightning had just raced through me, bringing me to the real world as I looked at him. "What?"

He stopped walking and stared at the water in the fountain, frowning, "I'm sorry for being an ass."

"You are partially forgiven."

I couldn't hide my smile as he glanced at me with a raised eyebrow, the look causing my heart to race and my stomach to do flips. Swallowing the sudden wave of attraction, I clasped my hands together and looked around.

"So....you come here often?" I joked, needing to get rid of the silence before he hears my pounding heart.

He let out a small laugh, "You seriously aren't mad?"

"No. I was upset and concerned, I know how defensive one can feel with personal questions such as cutting or depression. I shouldn't have overstepped so soon."

"I also shouldn't have reacted as aggressively as I did. You were just worried, I just.....I was afraid of being judged for it."

"You still-

"No, no. These..." He lowered his shirt, revealing his scarred shoulder, "Are old. I broke my razor so I used a regular blade for shaving, accidentally cut myself."

He turned his head to show me the cut under his chin, earning a grimace from me.

"You should probably buy a new razor," I observed.

"Once I get the chance. Between work and leading a pack, life can be busy."

I nodded in agreement, "Your brother probably as some you can borrow."

"You try borrowing something from that guy, he'll lay out an entire contract."

I chuckled, imagining Azrael sitting with a lawyer and placing a contract in front of Lazarus for a razor. We remained in comfortable silence for a bit, admiring the beauty of the night as the party continued in the background. I took a deep breath, relaxing for the first time tonight beside Lazarus. For once, I felt as though we were on the same page, no longer against each other for petty reasons.

"You look beautiful tonight, by the way," he suddenly voiced, stumbling over his words a bit.

Glancing back at him, I noticed a tint to his cheeks under the moon's glow. I could feel my cheeks warm at his compliment, my heart skipping a beat.

"You don't look too bad yourself," I replied, trying to not sound shaky.

"Thank you."

"So...we didn't exactly go with tradition this time, did we?" I asked, motioning towards the black outfits.

He laughed, "I'd say we strayed a little far from it."

"Why did you wear black?"

"Part of me wanted to be rebellious, but I also saw this as a final goodbye to my previous relationship with Odessa."

"Letting her go?"

A forlorn expression engulfed his features, his eyes focusing on the flowing water from the fountain. "For my sanity and the pack's sake, it's best if I accept the fact she's gone."

"You loved her, didn't you?"

A small, sad smile stretched across his lips, "She didn't really love me, I know she didn't. But gods, she was an amazing woman but at the same time, I'm not even sure if I loved her or was just attracted to her because she had my child."

"I think, either way, you cared a lot for her."

"I definitely did, even though sometimes, she pissed me off."

I let out a small laugh, "That seems to be a special talent with us women."

Excited hollering sounded from the party, drawing our attention to see Monroe chugging a large glass of alcohol. Lazarus sighed before letting out a laugh, his eyes lighting up for a moment.

"He's crazy, isn't he?" I asked, chuckling alongside him.

Lazarus nodded, "You're lucky you didn't have to see him the drunk that other night. He's an idiot."

I raised an eyebrow as Monroe attempted to do the worm, failing rather badly at it. However, the pack continued cheering him on, their drunk laughter filling the backyard and traveling towards the front. I continued watching for a bit, enjoying the joy that seems to spread across all of their faces. While Lazarus and I aren't in love, I'm still technically their Luna now. The sense of responsibility for the pack washed over me, my heartwarming at the thought of feeling like part of a pack again. Yet, the knowledge that once this is all over I'll no longer be Luna had a dark cloud forming over me.

"You're anxious about something, what's wrong?" Lazarus suddenly sounded, drawing my attention back to him.

"How did you know?" I questioned.

He pointed towards my hands, "You're playing with your fingers more and now your dress. You're also breathing a little quicker."

I stared at him in shock for a moment, "I...it's nothing."

"Not when it has you suddenly upset. I know we aren't the closest here, but I still made a promise to keep you safe. What's bugging you?"

I hesitated to answer, afraid of his answer. But I knew I would eventually need to let it out, whether it's to him or someone else.

"I just know after this is all over...I won't have a pack anymore."

"What makes you think you'll be leaving my pack?"

A/N: Bloop