Perfect For Me

CHAPTER 39 (Liam Williams)

"Perfect for me" I really wasn't much of a singer, but this song was stuck in my head for the next three days after Christmas Eve. My opinion on the song may be a bit biased, considering the songwriter was my boyfriend but still it was an incredible song. And his voice! God, I loved it! I mean I had known that I loved Ryan's voice but when he was singing.... I hadn't known someone could sound so pleasant.

Via some -probably illegal- online website I had downloaded the CD on my laptop and then transferred it to my phone. And no I listened to it every time I went to bed. Cheesy? Pfff.

The last few days had been really cosy. Ethan and I had been invited to spend the day after Christmas with Betty and her two sons and her daughter-in-law. They were all really nice and it almost felt like kind of a normal family thing even though Ethan and I clearly were intruders, we still felt welcomed.

Today I finally had decided we had to go outside. The last two day it had been raining constantly and Ethan had way too much energy to be locked up inside any longer. So I had called Nate and convinced him to accompany me and my brother to the playground in the park so we could have some time to chat and Ethan had fun too. Wow, situations like these really made me feel like the typical "mother" from the movies. The only thing missing is the woollen cardigan.

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"Come on Ethan! We're already late. We need to get going, Nate is waiting for us!", yeah right. I was never on time. To be honest part of it was Ethan's fault. He always thought of something he HAD to bring last minute and so we were already five minutes later than planned. For now we were almost 15 minutes late. But Nate probably expected us to be. He had been my friend for years, he knew how things worked. Nevertheless I sighed. "Ethan! We are going! Now!" With that I took his hand and closed the door behind us.

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"Hi, sorry for being late. Ethan-" "It's okay. I turned up later on purpose anyways. I know you never are able to stick to the timetable. How you manage your life this unorganized is beyond me!", Nate interrupted me. "Hey! I manage my life just fine, thank you!" Nate grinned before giving me a hug. "Merry late Christmas." I let him go and grinned at him. "Merry Christmas."

I felt a tug at my coat and looked down. Big blue eyes stared back. "Lili....can I go play now? Some childs from kindergarten are there!" "Sure. But be careful, okay?" I looked after him when he ran off. "Oh and by the way: It's CHILDREN not CHILDS!" I called after him. Not that he would remember. Or care for that matter.

Nate and I sat on a nearby bench, looking at the kids running around, despite the cold. "Crazy to think we were this little once..." Nate mused. I just nodded my head. "Yeah. And now we are graduating! Life's short, huh?" Nate scoffed. "We're 18 Liam. You sound like some 90 years old grandpa!" I laughed. He was right. I sometimes definitely was too grown-up. Probably because of my parents. But still: "A 90 years old? Seriously?" My friend laughed.

"Hey, how are things with mystery girl?", I decided to change topics. It really was time for me to learn something about the new crush of my best friend. My best friend who sat next to me with a red face, trying to play it down: "I don't know what you're talking about." I gave him a disapproving look. He looked back. I squinted my eyes and arched one eyebrow, basically asking "Really?". He sighed. "Okay, okay...." He held his hands up in surrender.

"You know last time I told you I didn't know if she liked me?" I nodded. "Well, this question is solved. I think. She... she asked me on a date?" I grinned: "Really? Were you too intimidated to do so yourself like a proper gentleman would?" "Hey! Stop those outdated gender-role cliches!" Nate protested. I laughed. We both knew I was only joking. There was no reason a girl couldn't ask a guy out and not the other way round.

"So, back to you two: When are you going? Where?" Nate looked at the ground. "Tomorrow. And I don't know. She said it would be a surprise.", he groaned. I laughed at his pained expression. I knew he hated surprises. That's the reason why he always got one for his birthday present from me. You can see, I loved my best friend. "But....something really important: What is her name? I somehow never got to ask! Oh, and what is she like?"

Nate looked at me and blushed. He cleared his throat. "Well her name is Maya. And she's.... I don't know, I just feel like we fit perfectly together, you know?" I nodded. Ryan gave me that feeling too. "She's just not that cliché high school girl you see on every corner. She just funny and doesn't hold back to laugh shyly behind her hand, no she just... laughs. And she is so easy to talk to. We never run out of topic to discuss. And she's never afraid to hold back if she thinks something is wrong. But she's still incredible polite and always gives you the feeling of being listened to and.... erm yeah. I could go on, but I guess would be rather boring for you, wouldn't it? But you get what I mean. It feels like we just belong together. And I don't even know her for that long!"

I was happy for my best friend. He was totally whipped and as he had said himself, he hadn't even known her for that long and already felt a deep connection with her. I really hoped for him she would feel the same!

"So, enough about me. What about you and....Ryan?", Nate suggestively asked. "Anything-" he cleared his throat for special affect and raised his eyebrow. "-going on between the two of you I should know about?" I hit his chest. Hard. "Stop it! We didn't do anything!", I defended myself, blushing. Nate grinned. "Oooh, but you really, really, REALLY like him, don't you?" I nodded sheepishly. "And do you think you love him?"

Did I think I loved him? Somehow that was the question everything came back to. What did it mean to love someone? To be ready to change your deepest wishes into the ones of the other one, so they were happy? To be content everywhere as long as they were with you? To not be able to stop thinking about them? That, even if they weren't the first thing on your mind, they were at least second or third. To feel like you could burst with happiness, hearing them laugh, feeling their lips on yours, feeling save on their arms?

I sighed. Then I smiled. "Yes. I think I do."