Perfect For Me

CHAPTER 23 (Liam Williams)

I snuggled closer to my source of warmth. I didn't think I had ever felt this comfortable, waking up. I sighed in content until I suddenly noticed an arm around my waist. And all events from yesterday dawned on me. Shit, had Ryan really seen me having an almost-panic-attack. And shit! Had I seriously asked him to cuddle with me?! Oh, he would hate me for this! And I would hate myself too! What had I been thinking?

After a few more minutes of mentally beating myself up for my stupidness I decided I might as well enjoy it as long as it lasted. I opened my eyes. And was met with his chest. His very defined, muscular chest. He definitely did workout. And it paid off! Hesitantly I raised my hand, letting it hover over his chest, contemplating on wether I could touch him just let my arm fall back to his waist where it probably had been the whole night.

Shifting carefully I moved my head so I could look at his face.

His face looked so soft when he was sleeping, almost as if he was smiling. His dark blond hair hung deep into his forehead, almost covering his eyes. Oh, his eyes! They were closed at the moment, but I knew they had the colour of cinnamon. A light brown with a bit of gold in it. And a hint of green, I noticed as I stared into them. They were so warm as they looked at me. They looked at me! Shit! In embarrassment I hid my face in Ryan's chest. His naked chest. That totally did not make the situation any better!

Ryan chuckled. Of course he would find my misery funny! How should I ever be able to look him in the eyes after yesterday and this embarrassing moment just now? I pretended as if he wasn't there at all. I just ignored him....while hiding my face in his chest.
I could feel his hand through my t-shirt, lightly drawing shapes on my waist, gently scraping me. "You can't stay like this forever, you know? Eventually you will have to face me." God, his scratchy morning voice did nothing to help the blush coating my cheeks go down.

Nevertheless I looked up. And was met with his stunning eyes once again. It left me speechless. Not that I would have known what to say in the first place...

He looked at me with so much admiration I thought this had to be a dream. And then the unbelievable happened. He leaned in to kiss me. HE leaned in to KISS ME! I was so stunned, I forgot to kiss him back at first. But when I did, it felt like fireworks exploding behind my eyes.

His lips felt just as soft as I remembered them to be and his hand gently lifted up my face while I pulled myself up so I was more or less laying on top of him, my arm still around his waist. His one hand lightly tucked at my hair while the other slipped down, drawing circles on my biceps. Carefully he swiped his tongue over my bottom lip, silently asking for entrance. I opened my mouth and our tongues shortly fought for dominance before I gave in and let him explore my mouth.

We continued kissing for what felt like an eternity before I pulled back. Ryan put a last peck on my lips before opening his eyes. I stared into them and couldn't help but remember what had happened after our last two kisses. "Go on. Leave. I know you want to run off again!" I looked away but I couldn't stop the bitter words from falling out my mouth. He had showed me before he didn't really like it. Like me.

"No. No, I don't. And I'm sorry. But I promise I will stay this time. If...if you want me to..." I continued looking into his eyes. They were full of sincerity. I still found it kinda hard to trust him. Biting on my lip I sat back on my heels, basically sitting on Ryan's thigh. Absentminded I looked down, overthinking everything in my head. Finally I answered: "Okay"

"Finally!" A voice suddenly exclaimed from my doorway. I hadn't noticed my door had been open a few centimetres and now a small hand pushed it open completely. "You know, you have to thank ME for this. I made him promise me to apologise to you, Lili!" Ethan said and climbed into my bed. He snuggled in between us like he hadn't just seen his big brother kiss another boy!

 Liam blushed deeply, obviously embarrassed to have been caught kissing. I just laughed at his face. "Come on, lay down. It's already too late for school. Might as well sleep in properly now." I yawned and fell back, purposefully dangerously close to Ethan which caused him to shriek in shock. I quietly laughed until I saw Ryan still sitting, a frown on his face. I leaned forward slightly and tucked at his arm, causing him to fall next to Ethan's other side. Ryan sighed but stayed put nonetheless.

I was worried. Maybe I was moving too fast. Accepting the...thing between me and Ryan too happily. But I couldn't help it, it just felt so right. I really hoped it didn't only feel like that to me. But I could think about that later. Now, I definitely needed another portion of sleep!