Perfect For Me

CHAPTER 30 (Ryan Lander)

Somewhere between the bus station and our school Liam and I parted ways. It would be very suspicious if we turned up together, considering I lived at the other side of town.

I smiled the whole morning and saw Liam doing the same. A few people came up, asking what's so great today. I just always had to shrug my shoulders. Did there have to be a specific reason? I mean, there was, but people didn't need to know that.

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"You coming?" School was finally over and Jeremy, Andy and I had agreed last week to go grab something to eat after today's practise. "Sure. Shotgun!" I shouted and slid into the passenger seat. Ha, Jeremy was just too slow! Andy sighed and mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like: "Children!". He started the engine and I was on my way to complain about his comment, when my phone made a sound to inform me about an incoming message.

I took it out of my back pocket and saw Liam's name flash across the display. I opened the message and smiled. God, all it took was Liam writing one text and my face lit up like a Christmas tree. He didn't even write something special or incredible cute. There simply was a "Have fun with your friends 😊". I was totally whipped.

Seemed like Jeremy noticed too, because he tried leaning over my seat to read the name on my phone. "Who are you texting?" Andy glanced in our direction as well. "I would say a girl. Look at his face!" I blushed. Ugh! I did that way too often! "Yeah, definitely. So, who is she? Do we know her?" I debated with myself. Should I tell them? I didn't think I was ready just yet.... Seemingly Jeremy got impatient because he sighed. "At least tell us if it's someone from our school. If you don't want to tell us there're still hundreds of possibilities!" I felt bad, hearing the hurt tone in his voice. Still, I just nodded. Liam may not be a she, but he definitely did go to our school.

When I got home later that evening, I was surprised to be called to the living room as soon as I entered the house. What had happened?

I came around the corner to see my parents sit together on our big couch. My father gestured me to sit opposite to them on our love seat. Micah sat on the other one. "What is going on?" I was confused as hell. They never made the effort to talk to me like that.

My mother cleared her throat. "Look.... We talked to Micah. Or Micah talked to us." Oh, god. What did he tell them? That I drank alcohol? That I had fights at school? Not that they would care about either of those things. Or about me.

"Chrm. He made us realise something." My mom tugged at my dad's shirt to make him continue. "Yeah...erm... We realised we haven't been the best parents to you. We want to change that. How about we go out for dinner on Friday?" I laughed unbelievingly. They had ignored me for 18 fucking years. And now the thought a dinner would make everything happy again?! I stood up. "You haven't been the best parents? You have fucking ignored me! You have acted like I didn't exist. You made me feel like a stranger in my own home. FOR 18 YEARS! And you think a dinner is all it takes to make up for that?" "No, Ry-" I didn't let my mother finish. I was raging. "You don't know ONE single thing about me." "That's not true." My father interrupted me. "Oh, is it? Tell me one thing I like."

Nothing came back. "Thought so. Did you know I play soccer? Did you know I've broke the school record? Micah's record? No. Did you know I love music? No. Did you know I cried myself to sleep for YEARS because I thought no one loved me? No. Do you know the names of my best friends? No. Do you know I had panic attacks, so bad I thought I was dying, a few years ago? No. Why not? Hm? Parents should know things about their kids. You probably don't even know what grade I'm currently in. Because you don't care. You the fuck decided to not care about your own child!" With that I ran upstairs, slammed my door shut and locked it.

Suddenly all my strength left me, and I collapsed against my door. I hadn't realised how hurt about the situation with my parents I had been until now. Tears streamed down my cheeks and I tried to painfully stifle my loud sobs. But they got even worse when even after fifteen minutes no one came to look after me. I gathered all my will power and dragged myself to my bed. I fell down on it and crawled under the covers, not caring to take off my clothes. With shaking hands I pulled out my phone and dialled Liam's number. "Hey, what happened?" Hearing his concerned voice had me break down once again. Hiccupping I told him everything. What had happened, what I had said and all about my feelings over the past years.

Liam listened. He just listened and this alone made me feel better. Being as exhausted as I was, I fell asleep, Liam's voice coming from my phone, telling me he was there for me and what an incredible human I was. How did I deserve him?