The Embers of Hope

Chapter 7

"Some of the symptoms might be severe, and they can have a significant influence on your everyday life over time. If there is still no progress after a month, I believe we should proceed with the operation since the alternative treatments and tests are not enough. I hope you're prepared for all the possibilities that can happen."

Tulala ako hanggang sa makauwi na kami sa bahay. I'm still trying to figure out how I felt when I heard it from the doctor earlier. Even my parents added to the weight of the strain I was under, and as always, I simply said yes to everything they said.

Alam ko sa sarili ko na takot pa akong tanggapin ang sitwasyon ko kaya kahit papaano ay pinapaintindi ko sa sarili ko na normal pa rin ang buhay ko. Walang nagbago. It's just that symptoms of my illness appear unexpectedly at times when I don't think about it. Ang wrong timing lang. But that's just it. All I need to do is to always deal with it for me to get healed.

"What do you want to eat for dinner?"

Bahagya akong natigilan sa may hagdan. Lumingon ako sa likod at nakita ang nakangiting Mommy ko. Nakita ko naman sa may kusina si Dad na kumuha ng maiinom niya. Napakurap ako. Well, this is new. I mean, bilang lang sa kamay kung tatanungin ako ng magulang ko kung ano ang gusto kong kainin. Hindi ko ito inasahan ngayon. I thought we'll just continue to do our thing without talking random stuff... like this. And... it makes my eyes crinkled with excitement.

I smiled. "Anything will do po. Thanks, Mom."

"I'll cook. Change your clothes first."

"Sa dessert ako!" biglang singit naman ni Dad.

"No." Binigyan ni Mom ng masamang tingin si Dad. Marahan akong napatawa. "You'll ruin our night again."

"Come on. Let me just help you."

That made me more excited. Palaging abala ang magulang ko sa business nila kaya depende rin sa mood kung gagawa sila ng gawaing bahay o magluluto para sa amin. They appear to be happy, based from what I can see now. Kaya pala kanina ay hindi ko rin dama na malungkot o galit sila. Oo nga't pinaalalahanan nila ako ng mga bagay na tungkol sa sakit ko pero mabilis lang iyon. They are not that... harsh and straightforward, as they usually are.

Napaisip ako. Ano kayang meron? Bihira lang sila maging ganito kaya naiintriga ako. Akala ko kanina ay guni-guni ko lang iyon pero ngayon, mas lumakas ang kutob ko na hindi. Something good is happening. Is it because of my early operation or because of my studies?

Nang makapasok sa kuwarto ko ay nilapag ko agad sa sofa ang bag ko. Dumiretso ako sa kama at pasalampak na nahiga. I sighed as I stared at the ceiling.

"Having a brain tumor isn't a bad thing, right?" I mumbled to myself, pinapagaan ang pakiramdam. "Life..." I blinked and smiled. "Life is always the same. Only hope gives color to it."

My phone vibrated in my uniform's pocket. Tumagilid ako para kunin iyon. Hindi ko ulit maiwasang mapabuntonghininga nang makita ang water reminder sa notification. Ano pa nga bang aasahan ko? Bilang lang ang nakakaalam ng numero ko. They often messaged me on all of my online social media accounts.

I got up and walked closer to the bathroom, which had a tiny water dispenser and my medicine kit on its side. Then, I went over to the sofa and sat down. After drinking half of the glass, I placed it down on the table. I grabbed my phone and opened the Wi-Fi. Sunod-sunod agad ang pag-vibrate dahil sa notifications.

Unconsciously, I opened Inus' message first.

Inus Tansley
Today 8:32 PM

May ginagawa ka?

Nakauwi ka na?

Seen 8:32 PM