Foul Love (Sasuke x OC)

57

During my time in confinement, I was told that Sasuke left the village on a journey of redemption. I however wasn't given the option, as I wasn't trusted as much as him. This irked me seeing as I didn't try to kill anyone, but arguing would have gotten me nowhere.

Other than that interaction with Kakashi and Ibiki, I wasn't allowed any contact with other people. For over a year I was fed meager portions, bathed once a week, kept to my own ways of busying myself, and never was I allowed to take off the blindfold. The days seemed to be getting longer and longer, and I've completely lost track of all time.

Days and nights have become one. It's been forever since I've seen the sun, and if I could see myself I'd assume I'm rather pale. Any time someone would come in to feed me or take me to the showers, I would attempt a conversation, but no one ever bothered to answer me. With every passing second I waited for Naruto to come and tell me that my time is up. For the first month I kept track of the days, adding a tally mark for every time I woke up. Once I realized how incredibly tedious this was, I stopped. Now I have no clue what time or day it is, and I haven't the slightest clue when I'm getting out of here.

"Food," is all the guard says and I hear a tray drop on the floor, and the sound of a door shutting. Getting up from my bed, I get on my knees and crawl to the sound. They have allowed me to take of the cuffs, but not being able to see is a pain. With only my hands to guide me, I work slowly to make my way over to the meal. With every pat on the ground, I inch closer until the feel of a familiar cool dish can be felt by my fingers. I accidentally dip my hand into the bowl, and a squishy substance can be felt on a medium skewer.

A newfound happiness comes over me as I realize that it's dango sticks in the bowl, and a smile blossoms across my lips. Not bothering an attempt at bringing the bowl to the bed, I find my way to a close wall and drag the dish with me.

The sweet flavor bursts in my mouth, and I let out a groan in happiness. It's been so long since I've had anything sweet, so having my favorite treat is exactly what I needed to replenish my spirits.

Once I finish the dango I let my head fall backwards and up against the wall. My hair is a mangled mess, and the uncomfortableness makes me yearn for a brush. The growing seemed to slow down once if made its way past my lower back, probably from malnutrition, but I tried to not let it bother me. I know I'm not getting the punishment I deserved, but I still wished I got more than a meager portion of food every so often.

The food usually consists of either ramen, soup, grits, or crackers. The dango today was an amazing surprise and I've never been more thankful for anything in my confinement. My thoughts drift to Sasuke as I digest. I'm a little jealous that Sasuke got to leave the village to right his wrongdoings, but I understand why they wouldn't trust me. Kakashi would, but not necessarily everyone else in the village. At least Sasuke was once liked by everyone, I was not. Everyone had always hated me, so they spared little lenience when it came to how to punish me.

Before getting this as my punishment, Kakashi said that many people on the council voted for my execution. This didn't bode well with me, especially considering Sasuke only got four votes for the death penalty versus my twelve. It didn't exactly feel good to be hated by everyone I so desperately tried to save. Twice, even if one was considered a bit... different. I still wish things had gone a different direction with them, because I'd still risk my life again and again for them.

More days pass and I lay in my bed, debating on whether I should take off the blindfold or not. Before I came in here, Kakashi put a seal on it and warned me not to take it off. He told me that nothing good would come from it, but he didn't specify what would happen. Deciding not to endure Kakashi's wrath, I leave the cloth over my eyes and remain in place. The bed I have is uncomfortable to say the least, and it's been a really long time since I've gotten a good nights sleep. An image of Rin pops into my head, but it's what she looked like all those months ago. When I get out of here, the first thing I'm doing is taking her and Naruto to ramen. Or should I say tricking Naruto into taking Rin and I to ramen since I have absolutely zero money. Since he'll probably be Hokage by the time I'm out of here, maybe he'll have some money to give me! I wonder if him and Hinata are living together yet...

Who am I kidding?! We're only nineteen after all, that means we're still young and have our life ahead of us. I doubt Naruto has even grown up one bit. Has our birthday passed? I wish I could've spent it with him and everyone else. Is Sasuke back from his travels? Maybe he's really out making a difference, or maybe he's just sulking. Both are very possible. Maybe he's doing both at the same time!

I've noticed that my thoughts aren't always so solemn anymore. My attitude on life has changed, and I've begun to look at the future with hope. A younger me would be so proud of our achievements, and a sad feeling of nostalgia graces me. With the thought of younger me comes the thoughts of Setami and the friends I've made and lost along the way. Neji and Gai's face also crossed my mind. A sadness finds me and my heart beats with guilt.

No matter how much time I put into forgiving myself, I can't manage to get rid of the guilt I feel for allowing that to happen. I've tried to tell myself that they died noble deaths, ones I should be proud of, but that doesn't bring me any comfort. All of it could have been avoided, and Neji and I could be going out for boba right now while I tease him about TenTen and he teases me about Sasuke. The two of us would laugh and he'd ruffle my hair, then Gai would come in spewing things about the power of youth and how beautiful it is. I miss my temporary comrades, but after meeting with my Dad I'm sure there's a life after death, and the two of them are talking about the people they've left behind.

"Neji?" I whisper. "I must really sound like a madman right now, and to be honest I might be." I begin to choke on my words. "I don't know if you can hear me, or if you want to hear me, but I just wanted to apologize. If not for you, then for me. I just want you to know if I could take it all back I would. If you and I could be walking the streets of Konoha right now, teasing each other about our love lives, or lack of one, then I'd be the happiest person alive. But that's not the reality we are in, and so I wanted to tell you how much I miss you, and how much I love you. My hopes are that you're with your father, and you have the occasional visit from Gai. Maybe in death he's not so annoying, but I highly doubt that. I just wanted to remind you that I love you, Pretty Boy."

When I finish my speech, I cough and I can feel the cloth covering my eyes get wet. It's uncomfortable, but I'd rather not risk Kakashi coming to scold me and potentially adding more time to my sentence. A smile appears on my face at the prospect of getting out, and I realize I'm finally healing. Nothing that anyone could have done would have gotten me to where I am now, not even Naruto's way with words. I needed this time to get to know myself, and explore even the darkest parts of me. With every defeat, I've learned to deal with it and allow myself some sort of condolence. There are people that still love me, which means there is something left of me. Something good. I won't let those people down by losing myself, and I will live by the words of Mom and Setami Sensei. I will do what I couldn't when they were alive;

I'll make them proud.