Foul Love (Sasuke x OC)

61

This is the same place I declared my own fate, just about seven years ago.

When I was twelve, there was already so much hate in my little heart. The world was against me and I was against the world. Sasuke had just left, so I went to this exact place to think. I thought all about the people who brought light to my life --- one of which being my late Sensei --- and how I wouldn't need Sasuke if I had them. 

It was also that night when I realized the insane corruption of our society. Even though I didn't want to admit it to anyone, not even myself, I knew that the boy I loved was just one more victim to the Shinobi way. His life was torn to shreds, and it bred a power hungry boy on a dark path of revenge. Sasuke was right in a way when he said it was the past Kage that had brought upon the war. Of course he wasn't entirely correct, but he was mostly right. That is something I hate to admit. 

As a retired rogue, I know I shouldn't have these thoughts, but I know I'm right. In the past I've never given myself enough credit, but now I will. I am the strongest Kunoichi in history (unless you count Kaguya), and I am considered a genius of sorts. I don't think it should take a genius to realize corruption though, so it's frustrating to know everyone who can make a difference is just turning a blind eye. 

I sigh, and look over to the restored village. I entirely hate it still, but home is home, right? If I could leave, I would without second thoughts. I'd travel, maybe dye my hair if I had to, and get out of this wretched place. Everyone hates me, as they've made very apparent, I don't fit in with anyone, and no one is willing to give me a second chance. 

The lights are mostly out across the land, with just a few illuminated streets and houses every so often. People have gone almost completely gone back to normal, but can there really be a 'normal' if you've lost a loved one?

Speaking for myself, there isn't. All throughout my life I've searched desperately for peace and acceptance, but never could I find it. The closest thing I ever had to normal was being a ninja, because I was a part of something. Now, there's nothing.

I have Naruto. I have Sasuke. I think I have Kakashi. And I have Rin. Those are the people I'd die for. I used to have Setami, Dad, Mom, and Neji. Those are the people I've lost, and the people I live for. Without the spirit of them watching me, I know I wouldn't be here right now. They've taught me so much in my life, even if they weren't entirely here. 

The words spoken by Sakura and Tenten cut deep. I would have thought at least Sakura knew that I had done everything I could to try and be better, but I couldn't have been more wrong. There was something churning inside of me, something I felt before. It was simply and so horribly a feeling I know well; betrayal. 

I wished Tenten didn't think the way she did. I know she's hurting, I took away the person she was in love with, but I don't think she understands how much I loved him too. I hate myself for it all, and I know she shouldn't have to know that, but I wish I could let her know how truly remorseful I am. 

"Hey."

My attention is drawn towards the person standing in front of me; Kakashi.

"Hey," I respond, but my voice sounds weak. Seeing him standing there makes me feel somber and happy, all at the same time. 

He sits down next to me, and for the next few moments we remain silent. Neither of us say anything, just sit.

"You know, she would understand," Kakashi tells me.

The lights of the village start to look streaky as my eyes well with tears once again. I know who he's talking about, and a horrible pain churns in my stomach.

Kakashi just continues, "You messed up, Madevila. I know that, everyone knows that, but most importantly you know that. You are not a bad person, you are just in a bad situation, but you pulled it all together when we needed you. I'm sorry that this is happening, but I just want you to know, she would forgive you."

"I love you," I blurt out. I really have missed him, so incredibly much, and it's been so long since I've said that. 

Kakashi begins to cry, and I finally look at his face. The two of us embrace while we finally accept we're safe. 

Kakashi's arms around me give me so much comfort, and I wish I could stay here forever. Life absolutely sucks, but not everything does.