Escaping you
"How do I do this? Get through everyday?"
"You get up everyday and you live. You breathe and you speak, and you try to make it just a little bit better than the last, no matter how hard either of those seem."
Her grip on me tightens, her tears dripping into her hair, her pretty face red from crying.
I lead her out of Eli's room and into the bathroom, her hopping onto the counter and I stand in between her legs, stroking her hair.
She sighs and cups my face in her small hands,
"I love you, Everette."
"I love you, Atlas."
"More than anything." She adds
"More than I love myself, more than I love anyone, I love you to death." Her head drops, her tears drying up and her face Reddening,
"I know, I know and I feel the same- Atlas why are you telling me this?"
"Because I know that I shouldn't." She whispers, not looking at me.
"I shouldn't love you Everette. Everything that I love, I destroy. I can't destroy you, I don't want to."
She pushes me backwards, keeping her distance from me.
"You haven't destroyed me, you haven't destroyed anything." I try to move towards her again but she leans away from me.
"Atlas please don't do this." I plead, but I can tell it's no good.
"You know I don't want to." Her voice cracks, my eyes welling with tears.
"So don't. God I'm begging you, please don't leave- don't leave me."
"Everette-" her eyes look so desperate, so afraid.
"I won't destroy you." She leans her face towards mine, pressing a tender kiss to my lips, so quick you could barley know it happened, and she pushes against me, walking out the door, her soft sobs being covered by her hand, my own with my sleeves.
I leave her bedroom and walk down the hall, picking up Athena who's asleep on the couch and putting her in bed.
I walk outside, not knowing where to go or how long I wish to stay gone. I pull my keys from my pocket and get in my car.
I shouldn't drive like this, I know that.
I pull out of Atlas's driveway, my face still hot with tears and my head pounding with hurt.
I drive to the lake climbing the same trail I always do and sitting at the edge of the cliff, the water still, peaceful.
I don't know what I did. Where did I fuck up.
My mind races with thoughts, overwhelming thoughts.
She's everything. Everything that matters. Losing her means I lose everything, and I just lost her.
After a while the crying stops, but the throbbing of my head doesn't, and the pain doesn't, it still burns numb in my skin, my bones.
Eventually I make my way back to her house, my house, and I realize I don't have anywhere to go. I can't stay here. I can't live here and see her face everyday knowing I'm not able to hold her, or kiss her, or be anything to her, I can't do it.
It's late when I go inside, everyone sleeping.
"Everette?" I hear her ask as she walks down the stairs
I stay silent, sitting on the couch with my head leaned against a pillow
"I was worried." She says, her voice full of remorse, sadness.
"I can't stay here, Atlas. Not without you." I finally look up to her
"Please don't do that." She says
"Do what Atlas?" I ask her, my voice louder than hers
"I didn't want to do this either but it was for the best." She says
"That's such bullshit. This isn't for the best and you know it."
"But it is!" She whispers
"I will never be able to look past everything that's hurt me and love you enough. I love you so much but it's not enough. I want to love you more, I want to love you as much as I can, and I can't, not now."
Her words ring in my ears, the sound of my heart pounding in my chest overbearing them.
"Never forget that I love you Atlas, Never forget how much I do." I say and get off the couch, walking out of the room and Athena walks down the stairs rubbing her eyes.
"I am not going to let you just leave here, Everette. Stay. Athena needs to be here."
I sigh and look at Athena
"Go to bed, baby." I say and she smiles,
"Why are you up?" I question her and she just runs over to me and sits in my lap, curling into my chest.
"Fine, I'll stay, until I can get something for me and her." I say and Atlas's frowns but nods
"Everette I love you too, I really do."
"So why can't just try. I don't care if you don't love me that much Atlas I just want you." I whisper, desperately, Athena's sleeping body on my chest hurts.
"I do love you. I love you too much, but I care Everette. I don't want to be with you knowing that I'll ever do is hurt you."
"You're hurting me now." My voice low, soft, aching for it all to be over, for me to wake up from this nightmare with my arms wrapped around her, her sleeping peacefully beneath me but I know that I won't.
"I'm sorry." She cry's.
It hurts.
"Don't be." I say.
It hurts
"Go to sleep Atlas." I say, i know she's exhausted.
But I know I won't get any sleep tonight, not without her there.
She comes closer to me and I kiss her forehead, one last time.
"Goodnight, Everette." She says.
"Goodnight, Atlas."
____________________
I'm sorry. I'm very sorry.
DO NOT FRET!! This is not forever, I just want to make this clear because I have already said it would be a happy ending, which it will, I promise.
I'm so sad rn.
YOU ARE READING
Escaping you |EDITING|
Teen FictionThey both craved something more, something to fill the emptiness that their lives held, but neither of them expected for the love they shared to change their lives for good.
