26-Everette

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2 months later

Proms this weekend. I'm in pain.

Atlas and me haven't really spoken since we broke up, not really. Other than the occasional comforting at night or a few words during dinner or in passing it's basically been radio silence from her and it hurts. It hurts. It hurts so bad.

She seems happier, in general really. She's still upset about the breakup, this much I know from Paige, which in some sort of sick twisted way almost gives me some comfort, let's me know she still cares, but I'm glad she's happy, it's all I want for her.

In terms of prom, she has a date, some random kid for our calculus class and although it physically tears me apart to see her going with somebody else, i don't think there's any actual feelings, I don't even think they'd ever spoken until he asked her to prom, and according to Leah and James she only said yes so she'd have somebody to go with.

I don't sit with her at school anymore, I sit with Kai and Hannah, who left our table a long time ago.

I miss her, I haven't stopped.

Sometimes it feels like I'm suffocating without her, like the world stops spinning.

I decided I'm just not going to go to prom because I couldn't handle going and seeing her with somebody else, feelings or not. I also don't have a date and I don't plan on trying to get one in three days, I just don't have any interest in going anymore.

Ive always wanted to go to prom really, since I was in middle school. I always imagined going with some pretty girl and getting voted prom king and queen but I can't, I can't handle it.

"Everette, let's go." Leah's voice pulls me out of my thoughts and I nod, grabbing my bag and going out to my car and Leah gets into the passenger side, slamming her door.

Me and Leah have gotten slightly closer since everything that happened with Atlas because Leah doesn't understand it just as much as I don't, she loves her, the same way I love her but she thinks what she did was dumb, not 'Atlas logic' whatever the hell that means.

———

"Kai, what the hell are you talking about?" I laugh

He's talking about some stupid shit I don't know, Hannah's running around the cafeteria telling everyone to vote for Her and Kai.

"Everette!" A high pitch voice screeches in my ear and I flinch before turning and looking to my left

A girl is standing in front of me, I recognize her- Harley, I think. She's in my Literature class.

"Yes?" I ask

"So I was just wondering if you wanted to go to prom with me, seeing as you haven't asked anybody yet?" Oh hell.

I turn to see that James, Leah, and Atlas are staring towards our table and I open my mouth to say no but my mind drifts off to Atlas going to prom with Derek. Why the hell is his name Derek.

What a doucebag name.

"Sure, Harley." I smile and she nods and sits next to me.

"I already have a dress, it's blue." She says and I nod, knowing I have to match with her.

She sits with us the rest of lunch, Kai sending her glares and Hannah completely ignoring her, And I can physically feel Atlas starting daggers into her head, into mine.

I didn't want it to go this way. I'm not supposed to be going to prom with Harley and Atlas isn't supposed to be going to prom with Derek, she's supposed to be going with me, it's our junior prom, I wanted to go with the girl that I love, not a girl I barley know.

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