Escaping you |EDITING|

25-Atlas

Escaping you

My tears fall into my pillow, quietly, silently, trying to keep from waking Leah.

I can't believe I just broke up with him. I left him. I left him and he needed me. He still does and I'd be lying if I said I didn't need him just as much.

He's still sitting downstairs on the couch and I fight the urge to run downstairs and tell him I was lying. I love him so much.

I toss in turn in bed but finally, I finally fall asleep, my heart heavy.

———

"Atlas wake up!" I shoot upwards and am pulled into a familiar chest, his scent hitting me in the face and I lean into him.

I look up at him, my eyes full of tears and his face red.

"What happened?" He asks softly, rubbing my back under my shirt.

"Just a nightmare." I say.

"Are you okay?" He worriedly asks and I smile up at him softly.

"Always am." I say and he smiles but shakes his head.

"Everette-" he cuts me off

"Don't apologize, it's okay." He says and I nod

"This is only temporary." I whisper and he's the one who nods this time.

"Just- can you sleep in here, please?" I ask him and he smiles softly, the small light in the corner of my room illuminating his face, his soft features, his brown eyes I love so much. Every part of him is perfect. He's perfect.

"Of course." He climbs into bed beside me and I start to lean into his side before remembering- we aren't together. I turn away from him, a small frown sitting on his face but he turns the other direction, too.

Soon I hear his breathing shallow and I look over to see his chest rising and falling steadily.

I love him so much, more than I'll ever truly be able to describe. But it's not enough. I'm so broken, I realize that— and I don't want to break him down with me. I don't want him to wake up one day and realize that even though I love him, I hate myself more.

———

"You broke up with him because you don't love him enough?" Leah asks, her mouth dropped open

"Yeah." She rolls her eyes.

"You doing that, proves you love him more than enough. He's really hurt, Atlas"

"I know." I sigh. I didn't mean to hurt him, that isn't what I wanted, that isn't what I'll ever want.

"so go get him back." She suggests

"I will, but not right now. I want to learn to heal on my own, for a little while." I smile a sad smile and Leah returns it, turning it the driveway of our house

"Whatever you need to do." She says.

I go inside and work on my mountains of math homework. Why do math teachers give out so much damn homework?

I close my computer, shutting my eyes and laying down on my bed, falling asleep quickly, my mind circling with the absence of Everette's touch-his warmth- his comfort- him.

It's always been him.

———————————-

Sorry for such a short chapter, I know it's horrible.

But next chapter- you'll be very happy, to say the least.

I needed to write this because we needed Atlas's pov on things.

And y'all I said this in my authors note at the begging of the book, I don't appreciate you sitting here and calling Atlas every name in the book. She's just a girl. She's trying to do what's best by herself for once in her life so cut her some slack. I know that we're all upset with her but blankly hating on my characters does nothing.