Chapter Sixty-Three: Cancel it
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Shamie's POV
I'm now sitting near the edge of Thea's bed while holding her left hand. Their doctor is currently talking about something to her.
After that, the doctor left at sumabay na si ate Annie sa kanya. Nagpabala na din si ate Annie na bibisitahin daw muna nya yung shop nya. Si Marco, lumabas muna sandali. Si Katherine, may pupuntahan lang daw sya malapit dito sa hospital, while Erlyn's sleeping at the couch here inside the room.
Kaming dalawa lang ni Thea nandito at gising, so I grabbed that chance to talk to her.
"Kamusta, madam?" I asked her, trying not to sound that I'm tired and sick. Pagod ako, may sakit ako, and I should be taking a rest right now but I don't want to. Gusto ko munang bantayan si Thea. I'll be flying back to China tomorrow and I don't know when will I'll be back.
"Okay lang. Okay lang kahit nahihirapan na ako. Kahit walang gustong makinig sakin, okay lang. Okay lang ako, Shamie." She said sarcastically. I was startled by the way she speak to me, and because she called me by my name.
"Madam, I can listen. You know I'll listen to you no matter what," I said, telling her the truth. Alam kong nahihirapan sya. And I'll let her release her pain to me.
"Hindi ka pwede eh. Busy ka. Busy ka sa pag-aasikaso ng company mo, busy ka sa karerang tinatahak mo. Madami ka nang isipin, idadagdag ko pa ba yung akin? Ayokong maging pabigat," she said again. I know she's hurt, she's in pain, but she's telling me things that is not even myself.
"You know I'll always make time for you. Busy ako, but I'll find a way. You're not a hindrance nor I didn't think that you bother me," sana naman maisip nya yon. Hindi naman kasi ako yung tipo ng tao na iisipin na pabigat sya eh. She will not be a hindrance to me. Not now, not forever. Never.
"Sinasabi mo lang yan kasi naaawa ka. You pity me. Binabantayan mo ako ngayon, kasi naaawa ka. Pati si ate. Have you realized? Kamuntikan na akong mamatay, saka ko lang ulit kayo nakita. It's funny that when you're near the edge, the people around starts checking up on you. Kung hindi ko ba sinubukang bawiin ang sarili kong buhay, nandito ka ba?" She said and a tear escaped from her left eye.
"Naiintindihan kita madam. I know you're hurting, and I understand that. Use me, you can use me. I'm giving you permission to hurt me if that's the only way you could release the pain you've been hiding for too long," I said and hugged her. The moment I hug her, saka lang nya pinakawalan ang mga luha, pati ang hikbi na pinipigilan nya simula pa kanina.
"A-Ayaw ko na. N-Napapagod na ako. No one understands me. No one," she said while still crying.
"No madam. I understand you," I said habang yakap parin sya. I was startled when she pushed me.
"No, you don't! Hindi mo ako naiintindihan kasi magka-iba tayo! You have your perfect life, a perfect family. While me, I'm like a prisoner. You have your freedom while I'm stuck on that fuckin' marriage. May kalayaan kang magmahal, pero ako, kailangan kong pigilan ang sarili ko. At sa totoo lang, nahihirapan na ako! Sobrang nahihirapan na ako," she said at sobra na din syang umiiyak ngayon.
