Forever Kind of Love

Chapter 10

I underestimated what having Kai in my apartment would do to my heart. This is mainly because I didn't think it would do anything. I was wrong. He's just dropping off his backpack onto my couch, but I like the way he fills up the space. "Are you hungry? I have some curry I made yesterday in the fridge if you want to eat before we head over." "Sounds great, I'm always hungry." I'm a mediocre chef, but I feel confident in my curry. It's one of the easiest Japanese dishes my mom taught me to make while I was in high school.

I start grabbing a couple bowls when Kai asks, "Can I do anything to help?" "No," is on the tip of my tongue when I turn around and find him directly behind me. My heart stops beating as I come eye-level to his mouth, just inches away. It's a very nice mouth, seeming soft yet wicked. Kai leans down, forcing me to meet his eyes while his breath coasts over my own mouth. "I asked if there's something you'd like me to do," he whispers. I can't think. I can't breathe. It feels like time has stopped around us and the world is holding its breath. I can think of many, many things I want him to do right now. I can think of a million things I want to do to him, too. Instead, I find the will power to take a step back and turn around quickly. "I've got it. You can just sit down." My voice sounds breathy, but I still consider it a win that I was able to speak at all. I wanted that kiss and that moment with Kai, but it just reminds me of every other time a boy has made me breathless. It's so fleeting. In a month, I'll stop getting butterflies. In three months, we'll go back to being strangers. That's the pattern all my relationships take.

Lunch is awkward, to say the least. I practically shovel curry into my mouth as an excuse not to speak. Kai is also silent, except to tell me the curry is good. He washes his own bowl after eating and we head over to the nursing home. The walk is short, with more silence. Kai doesn't really seem angry, just contemplative. Maybe it really was no big deal and I'm just overthinking everything. Maybe he would be different from all my other boyfriends. Maybe we'd fall in love and stay in love. Maybe I wouldn't just look back on him as a bad memory.

When we get to the nursing home, Maggie is sitting by the front desk with a book. She looks up and smiles at me before catching sight of Kai. Once her eyes find him, they're locked on him like missiles. I can't even blame her. I head over her and introduce Kai as "just a friend in one of my classes." Maggie only shoots me a quick glance that says, "Honey, this man is not 'just friend' material" before flirtatiously batting her eyes at Kai. Kai takes it like a champ, and as we empty boxes full of pumpkins and witch hats, a crowd of ninety-year-old women starts to gather. The residents' presence eases some of the tension between Kai and me, turning decorating into some fun. By the time we've finished hanging decorations, everyone's having a good time.

The walk back to my apartment, however, is packed full of tension. I couldn't kiss him earlier, but the idea of us not even speaking to each other again has me breaking the silence. "Thank you for coming with me, the residents love seeing new people." "It was no problem. It's cool that you come help regularly. I could tell that everyone adores you." I blush. "Well, if you're into older women, you've certainly got options." I expect at least a polite laugh for my joke, but when I glance over at Kai, he's looking at me seriously. "Amelia, I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable in the kitchen. If you just want to be friends, we'll just be friends for now. Whenever you feel comfortable with more, we can revisit the subject." I stare at him, shocked. He only smiles at me and keeps walking. The tension between us has dissolved, but I can't stop replaying what he said. Focusing on the fact that this beautiful, magical-smelling, kitten-saving man wants to be more than friends.