Sa Iyong Ngiti

35

Chapter 35

You'll always have a special place in my heart, Ascella.

It's been weeks at hindi pa rin siya gumigising. I patiently waited here in the hospital, wala akong pinalagpas na isang araw na hindi siya dalawin dito.

I kept on waiting for Ate Avi to go out of the room before I go in. Nahihiya na akong magpakita sa kanila ni Mrs Smith. Malapit nang mag-isang buwan akong nagtatago sa kanila.

I'm sitting beside her bed while I was staring at her like there's no tomorrow. I prayed and prayed multiple times, wishing for Ascella to wake up. Para akong dinudurog habang pinagmamasdan ang mga sugat niya sa kamay. Para akong sinasaksak nang makitang may benda rin ang ulo niya. 

What happened yesterday, happens today. I'll go to her room, hold her hand 'til night, stare at her face, pray to God, kiss her forehead, then go back to my room once Kuya Jax reminds me about Ate Avi, then lay down on my bed, I'll pray again, cry for missing her, then be happy again 'cause I know that she won't like seeing me cry. 

Ginawa ko na ring bahay ang ospital na 'to sa kagustuhan kong araw-araw na makita siya. She wouldn't be able to see me if she wakes up because I'll see her from afar. I'll love her from afar. Kaya sa bawat araw na lumilipas ay nasasaktan lang din ako nang nasasaktan. 

Hanggat sa makakaya ko, sinusulit ko na ang isang araw sa pagtitig sa kaniya, memorizing her features and holding her hand all day.

"Bakit ba nagkaganito lahat?" I asked myself. "Was it my fault?" I added. Napatungo na lang ako habang hawak ang kamay ni Ace. "I'm sorry, Ace." I started overthinking again. Napaka sikip ng paghinga ko, it was like someone was crushing my heart.

"Zyden?" I turned my gaze to Ate Ana, "Tara na? Nandiyan na raw si Avi, bukas na lang ulit?" She softly asked. I just nodded before looking back at Ace, tumayo ako para halikan ang noo niya bago ako lumabas ng kwarto niya. Dumiretso naman ako sa kwarto ko at natagpuan doon si Kuya Yuri.

"Woah, you look like a.." Napatigil siya sa pagsasalita para mag-isip, "Zombie." Aniya bago tumawa ng malakas, I didn't bother to answer him, I just laid down on my bed and looked at the ceiling. 

"Natutulog ka pa ba? Hala ka, baka mamaya 'pag nagising si Ascella, maghanap na ng gwapo 'yon. Hindi ka na gwapo, mukha ka nang zombie!" I glared at him like I'm about to kill. He laughed even harder when I closed my eyes and turned my back against him, ready to sleep early, "Uto uto. 'Yon lang naman pala katapat mo, e'," I heard him whisper.

After that, mabilis akong nakatulog, isa sa mga kinakatakutan ko ang matulog dahil baka mamaya magising akong nasa New York, baka panaginip lang din pala ang pagpunta ko rito. Sana naman huwag na.

I opened my eyes to make sure I'm still in the Philippines but I was stunned when I saw that it was already in the morning. I immediately stood up and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and take a cold bath. I was still so confused, pa'no naging umaga kaagad? I was like closing my eyes for thirty seconds!