Behind his smile...

Chapter 24

Sarah's p.o.v.

"What the fuck are you doing in my room?" I almost screamed but realized the time.

It was 2 in the morning.

"Listen, Sarah, before you say anything else. I just want you to know that I'm not here for anything bad." He said with his voice cracking.

Has he been crying?

"Matthew what's wrong?" I felt the need to ask.

"Nothing much, just wanted to talk to someone who might understand." He said sniffling a little.

"You ok?" I asked.

"Not really." He said sitting on my bean bag chair.

"Look, Matthew." I started but was cut off.

"Please, just please call me Matt." He said pleading.

"Ok," i paused and realized that he really wants me to call him Matt. "Matt, uh well why are you in my room?" I asked getting up from my warm bed.

"Look, I know that you hate me, and for the record, I don't really like you too much either..." He started.

There's the dickhead I know.  I went back to my bed and sat down.

"But I felt that you would be someone who I could come to for something." He finished.

"Yea?  and what is that?" I question him.

"well, its not that easy, i can't really just blurt it out to you."  He said looking down.

"Well than why'd you come into my room?" I asked softly knowing that something was up with him.

"its-" he sighs, "its just that sometimes i get this feeling..." he pauses.

He stays quiet for a few secnds and it gets akward.

"Matt?"  i say softly.

"hu, you called me Matt." He smiles lightly.

"well normally i wouldn't but you seem upset and you asked, well more like begged, for me to call you Matt." I sass the part when i said that he begged.

"I did not beg you to call me Matt, i just simlpy asked with a bit of, oh, i don't even know ok?" he says the last part as a question.

"sure, but-" i look at the clock, "Its now 2:17 and i haven't gotten a real answer to why your in my room." I say crossing my arms.

"Right, i'm getting there, but i need you to understand that its hard for me." He says rubbing his arms.

"Are you cold?" I ask seeing that he is only in shorts and a t-shirt.

"Yea, but is fine." He said.

"Hold on." i say getting out of bed and grabbing one of Josh's sweatshirts that i stole.

"Put this on." I tossed Matt the sweatshirt.

"No, I-I don't think i'm that cold." He said tossing the sweatshirt back at me.

Its been a few more seconds of silence and he lets out a sigh.

"Sarah?" He asks not looking at me.

"Yes?"  i answer wondering if he's gonna tell me why he's here.

He lets out one more sigh before answering me.

"I came here to get my mind off of things." He said still not looking at me.

"What things?" I can't help but ask.

"Oh, certain things..." He trails off.

"Uhh, ok?  so are you not gonna tell me or...?" I strenched out my words.

"Can you please just leave?" He says putting his head in his hands.

"Uh, it's my room, your the one who's in my room." I said.

"Yea, but you can just go back to sleep and i'll just stay here." He tells me.

"What?  no, you can't just stay here." I said louder.

"shut your damn mouth." He said just above a whisper and making eye contact with me.

"Don't tell me what to do!" I narrow my eyes at him.

"You just can't know." he said.

"What?" i ask.

"I'm telling you why i'm here." He said like it was ovious.

"You already told me." I said confused.

"yea but you can't know the reason on why i'm here." He said.

"Why?" i ask quickly.

"Because-" He sighs, "Because you just can't." He said leaning forwards in my bean bag chair.

"Matt i'm not going to let you leave until you tell me exactly why you're here." I said.

"Well that's fine by me cause i don't want to leave." He said.

"Is this about something at your house?" I question.

"No." He simlpy answers.

"Damnit Matt just tell me." I said getting mad.

"Sarah, no!  I can't tell you!" He said trying ot keep his voice low.

"Why?" I answer again too quickly.

"Because i can't trust you like i used to!" He rushes his words.

"Well that's nothing new to me." I said.

"well maybe i just need someone to trust." He said while he put is hands through his hair.

I was shocked that he said that.  Mr. gives no fucks Matt.  In my room.  Saying that he wants someone that he can trust.

I don't know what to say but i find myself getting out of my bed and hugging him.

I have no idea why i did this, but when someone is sad they usually need a hug.

"Its just so hard." I heard him say under his breath and hugging me back.

A.N.

OK, SO FIRST OFF, THANK YOU FOR 2K PLUS READS.  I NEVER IMAGINED GETTING THIS MANY READS.  I JUST DID THIS FOR FUN AT FIRST.  AND SECOND, WHAT DO YOU THINK IS WRONG WITH MATT?