Only Once

Shower

Part 10

You see Tammy with Debbie drinking coffees in the kitchen and you just need to be alone so you smile at them looking at you and head upstairs.

Lou let's you go joining the others.

You get into the spare room and get into the shower. As the water hits you it's cold but you don't care anymore. You feel comfort in the numbness. After a while you can't tell what's water and what's tears and you're weak in the knees so you get down in a ball and just sit there.

You don't realise how long it's been until you hear banging at the door and get up wrapping a towel around yourself.

You open the door to see Lou stood there after walking past the room and still hearing the shower going.

Lou - "Oh thank fuck for that I thought you'd offed yourself in the shower then! Fuck me!"

Y/n - "Umm firstly if i did do that, I'd at least do it with more class than by drowning in a shower, and secondly I already have f'd you so let me through, I'm freezing."

As you go past her your skin touches her and she realises how cold you actually are.

Lou - "Hey come here."

You ignore her and she walks up behind you feeling your arms.

Lou - "You're frozen! What the hell y/n we have warm water why did you do that?!"

You just look her in the eyes and she knows. She grabs you hugging you but at this point you've lost the ability to cry anymore. It's like your tear ducts have all shrivelled and dried up and your just left an empty shell.

She helps you pick some warm clothes and grabs her warm blanket from her room to put over you. She asks you what you want to do now and you agree to head downstairs but just to sit and you didn't feel like talking.
She puts her arm around you taking you downstairs and helping you onto the sofa in the corner away from everyone.

But regardless of you being away everyone is still staring at you. Right into your soul like they can read your feelings and thoughts like a book. You put your knees up and Lou brings you some coffee too. You hold it in your hands and Debbie chimes in when Lou heads back to them to get her cup.

Debbie - "Hey what's with all the blankets?"

Lou - "She's cold."

Debbie - "Lou she looks pale as fuck what happened?"

Lou - "She had a shower."

Debbie isn't buying it though and gives her a look in silence.

Lou - "She had a shower and the water was cold. She chose it that way and so when I found her I helped her warm up and brought her here."

Debbie - "Wait so you're telling me she was harming herself."

Lou - "Well no she was showering but in a way I guess so yes."

Tammy is sat opposite the both and heard everything. She gets up stunned and starts to walk towards y/n.

Lou - "Oh god Tammy, Tammy wait please! I don't think she's ready."