blackpink one shots. (for your heart).

i want to try. (chaelisa)

Lisa just watched as the chaos in front of her continued. That's all she could do these days; sit and watch. She knew she should have walked out and let the chaos continue in front of her but she didn't know where she would go. So she sat on the couch and watched. It wasn't till she heard the sound of broken glass when her body jumped. A loud thud was followed right after and something about that made her stomach churn. The feel of hands and rushed out sentences were all she could remember. A part of her told her to stay calm but as she looked at the chaos in front of her; she couldn't. 

She woke up to feel cold hands pushing her arm and as she turned her head to the side she could see a concerned Chaeyoung. "Did I wake you?" She questioned quietly and Chaeyoung nodded, Lisa could only sigh as she hated being the cause of Chaeyoung's lack of sleep. Lisa usually slept through the night reliving her chaos but then Chaeyoung showed up into her life. And suddenly the routine had changed. She still continued to have nightmares but now Chaeyoung would wake her and stay up with her till she fell back to sleep. "I'm sorry," she let out and Chaeyoung just chuckled as she shook her head. There was no need to apologize to Chaeyoung.

"When do you think they'll go away?" Chaeyoung asked as she made herself scoot closer to the girl. A part of Lisa wanted to move away but she was already at the edge of the mattress. One little movement and she would be on floor. Lisa only cleared her throat as she decided to turn her body to face the girl. That alone made Chaeyoung stop her moving as she turned her head seeing Lisa. It was odd for Lisa to make a move when Chaeyoung was the one trying to get closer to her. Though she didn't want to complain or even question it because if anything it made her happy to know Lisa was making a move to face her. "Do you think they'll ever go away?"

"They'll never go away no matter how much I try, no matter how much times passes. They won't go away," she told her and Chaeyoung just turned her head to face the ceiling as she nodded. She could practically sense Lisa's frustration and the way the bed sheets underneath her were being pulled it was clear that Lisa just wanted them to go away. "I'm sorry," she repeats once again as Chaeyoung turned her head again to see her flattening the bed sheet out. Lisa looks up at her and Chaeyoung could only nod. Their relationship was full of silence but they understood each other. Chaeyoung didn't ask what happened to her and Lisa didn't ask what happened to her. It was like they both knew what happened to each other but they didn't ask to confirm it or not.

"Did yours go away?" Chaeyoung heard and she only let out a chuckle. Because if she was being honest they never went away. She just managed to calm them down when she met Lisa. Lisa seemed to have calmed those nightmares, and those urges, but for Lisa it didn't happen to her. She still had nightmares and she still had urges. Chaeyoung didn't know what those urges were but she knew they weren't pretty when she began to hear broken glass outside of their bedroom door. It didn't happen often but it was enough to remind her that they still happened. She sighed as she finally turned to her side looking at Lisa who seemed more awake than asleep. Something that she found odd.

"No," she started and she noticed Lisa close her eyes and she could see that she had scrunched her face up. She was clearly upset that not even her lover's nightmares, and urges had gone away. Something Lisa always told her, she wanted to be the one to take those nightmares and urges away from her. It was something that made Chaeyoung float on a cloud. It made her happy to know Lisa cared for her. Chaeyoung swallowed harshly at the lump in the back of her throat as she lifted her hand up hesitating if she should touch her or not. She closed her own eyes as she let her hand land on Lisa's cheek. "But they calmed down," she whispered out and opened her eyes to see Lisa's face calm, her eyes were still closed but she seemed more relaxed than before. "I know you-"

"Shh," Lisa let out as she lifted her own hand up putting it on top of Chaeyoung's. It was the first time in a month or two that they had made such intimate contact. Especially Lisa to let her do it. Chaeyoung found out first hand that Lisa hated to be touched, she remembers reaching her hand out to touch her cheek and Lisa just grabbed at her wrist roughly stopping her. She had left a bruise on her wrist that lasted for over a week and Lisa apologized every single day she even gave her a rose every single day just to make sure she knew she felt bad. Chaeyoung forgave her that same day but she appreciated the week of love even if Lisa struggled with it. Even Lisa herself didn't understand why she had done it. "You make me want to try."

"Try what?" Chaeyoung whispered out loud and as she watched Lisa open her eyes she couldn't help but wonder what was Lisa feeling, what was running through her head. Because what she was feeling was new and exciting. She felt herself squirm a bit when she felt Lisa's hand land on her waist and a second later she was desperately trying to get closer to her. Urges and nightmares were in the past and right in front of her was her present and future. She felt Lisa make herself closer to Chaeyoung and she could already feel her shaky breath run down her lips and chin. Her heart was beating out of her chest and she wondered if Lisa could feel it as well, if she could feel how excited she was to have Lisa so close to her. "Lisa-"

"Shh," Lisa let out as she put her hand on Chaeyoung's cheek. It was warm and soft, and something about that made her forget why she had been woken up by the girl. She remembered Chaeyoung excitedly telling her she liked her because she was mysterious. And something about that made Lisa smile. She remembered Chaeyoung smiling at her asking her to be her girlfriend. And something about that made Lisa smile. She remembered Chaeyoung asking her to move in with her because she hated being alone. And something about that made Lisa smile. And now here she was leaning in close letting her lips brush past Chaeyoung. And something about that made Chaeyoung smile. "I know I suck at everything but I want to try," she continued and Chaeyoung just nodded. 

Lisa let her lips touch Chaeyoung's lips, and every little urge and nightmare was being thrown away as she felt herself scooting even closer to Chaeyoung. Chaeyoung let out a light gasp as she felt Lisa's body directly next to her. She felt her body make itself comfortable in front of Lisa's that she couldn't help but let her hand travel to the back of Lisa's neck pulling her closer. As if she was letting her know she wanted more from her. That if she wanted to she could try everything with her. But she knew that she needed to slow down the last thing she wanted was for Lisa to back out and sleep on the couch. A thing she learned a while ago, whenever things got too much for her she would run to the couch. So she began to slow down. 

Lisa only let out a light sigh as she felt Chaeyoung slow down from their rapid pace. She didn't know if this was her own doing or Chaeyoung's but as she felt Chaeyoung pull away she couldn't help but smile. Something that made Chaeyoung smile as well. "What do you want to try?" Chaeyoung questioned and Lisa only chuckled, and for some reason Chaeyoung really loved this side of Lisa. When they were out together she was always quiet but here behind these closed doors. She was a mess, a mess of laughs, a mess of sentences, a mess of tears, a mess of anger, a mess of fears. She was a complete mess but Chaeyoung was the only one who could see that. She was the only one Lisa trusted enough to let her see that. "Hm?"

Lisa smiled as she pulled Chaeyoung into a softer kiss and Chaeyoung could swear this was what heaven felt like. She pulled away slightly as she began to rub her thumb over Chaeyoung's cheek and she could feel the heat radiating off it. A warm feeling she was beginning to feel all over her. And she wondered if this is what love felt like. Chaeyoung hummed again as she leaned closer to the palm of her hand and Lisa let out a light chuckle. "I want to fall in love with you." Chaeyoung let out a wide smile as she knew this was her way of asking permission if she could fall in love with her. And even though Chaeyoung and Lisa already knew what they were feeling was love it made Chaeyoung happy to know that she was doing something that she wanted to do. Something she wanted to try.

"Fall in love with me," was all Chaeyoung had to say before she pulled her in for another kiss.

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my dad made pancakes but my body is like no.

- noah :)