Ma Fille Chérie | Billie Eilish

six

a/n:

thank you for 300 reads!!

madison stop threatening me i do not appreciate <3

billie eilish, november 1st

los angeles | CA

i sat in my room for a while building up the confidence to face finneas. why was this so fucking hard, im acting like a baby. these emotions were just taking over me, and i couldn't stop it. 

i decided i would just talk to finneas in the mess of a state i was in. there's no point trying to calm down when as soon as i start talking i'm gonna get worked up again. 

"finneas," i called from my bed. i picked at the skin around my fingers while i waited for him to come in. my bedroom door opened a little. "can we talk now?" he asked peeking in at me. i nodded. he walked in and shut the door behind him, "thank you"

he sat down on my bed and looked up at me. "i just wanna apologize, what i did was fucking mean and i'm really sorry" he said. "i should of listened when you said to stop, i just got carried away, i didn't mean to just out you like that to mom, i didn't think it was actually that serious" he admitted. 

my eyes started to burn as tears built up. i brought my knees up to my chest and buried my face in them. "billie, i love you, and i'm sorry" finneas said before scooching himself a bit closer to me. he lifted my head up and pushed my legs out of the way, so he could hug me. i wrapped my arms around him and rested my head on his chest. 

"i dunno myself anymore" i sniffed. "it's okay, just go with your gut and it will all work out in the end, alright?" finneas assured. i nodded into him. 

if only i could believe him. 

♡

my dad came home later that night with take out, lightening the mood which i was grateful for. he doesn't know about anything as of yet but i think if i don't say anything soon, he'll find out by one of the two people who already know.

i don't really want him to find out via my mom or my brother, but i'm not ready to tell him myself yet. hell, i wasn't ready for finneas or mom to know, yet here we are. 

"hey, mom" i said walking up to her as she washed some dishes. "hm? what's wrong?" she asked looking at me, putting down the sponge in her hand and resting her hands on the sink. "can you not tell dad, about y'know-" i started but got cut off by another voice.

 "don't tell me what?" 

"nothing" i quickly said turning around to face my dad. he quirked his eyebrow, "is this like a girl thing or?"

"patrick, its fine, can you go help finneas, i think he wanted you to help him fix something on his keyboard" mom diverted the conversation. dad nodded and walked out calling for my brother. 

"thank you"  

"its okay, and i won't say anything until your ready"

♡

my phone buzzed under my pillow for the third time. it had to be lilou. i took a deep breath and picked up my phone. 

afterall, i can't hide from my problems forever. 

l_roux
billie
are you back yet?
i need to tell you something

wherearetheavacadoes
yeah i am, im here.
what's up?

l_roux
i think i like you...