Ma Fille Chérie | Billie Eilish

trente-trois

a/n:

eating frozen dragon fruit while writing this

y'all need to stop coming for lilou in the comments about the way she texts 😭

500 followers & 34 K!!!

i did not know this book would gain so much 'traction holy guacamole 

get ready for next chapter ;)

billie eilish, november 12th

santa monica | CA

"shh bil, it's alright, mommy's here, she's got you baby" lilou hushed, rocking me and back and forth in her arms, drowning in one of her oversized sweaters. the thought of not having not even one comfort item was really upsetting me. 

lilou looked slightly bewildered toward the situation, trying to just find something to calm me down but having no luck. i continued to wail around my thumb, my tiny mindset was so confused and upset by the pain in my abdomen, that all i could think to do is cry.

"uhm, uh i- i have," lilou stammered, trying to think of something. "oh! i have a bottle, do you want to try that? hm?" she asked, sitting me up a bit more as i was slipping out of her arms slightly. "paci!" i cried loudly, "i know, i know, but a bottle is like your paci, just you can put something in it, like water, or milk" lilou explained.

with no answer from me apart from sobs she took the initiative to just sit me up on her lap, wrap my legs around her waist and stand up. being moved hurt me, lilou knew that, but she also knew she couldn't leave me alone, or more importantly i wouldn't let her. 

"shh, baby, you're okay," lilou cooed, gently placing pats to my bottom. i whimpered wrapping my arms tightly around her shoulders. we headed out of her bedroom slowly and into her clean kitchen. 

lilou sat me up on the counter and gave me thigh a empathetic rub, "would you like some medicine?" she asked as i rubbed my eyes. i nodded, whines still slipping my lips every few seconds. "what do you want to drink sweetheart, i think i have some almond milk left from my dad?" lilou asked, pulling open a bottom draw and fishing out a syringe. 

"cuddle mommy, hurts!" 

the burning tears rolled down my cheeks once again, throwing my arms out to lilou. "i'm right here baby, i'm trying to make you feel better, just give me a few minutes please love" she said, softly but assertively. 

going to the fridge, lilou pulled out a bottle of medicine. she sucked the pink mixture into the syringe and headed over to me after putting the glass bottle into the fridge and shutting the door. "can you hold this for mommy?" lilou asked handing the plastic item to me. i nodded and took it, "billie is big girl" i sniffed, sticking my tongue out to catch the falling tear beside my mouth. 

"okay, just don't push this bit alright?"

lilou pressed a kiss to my cheek and walked back to the set of draws and sifted through them for a minute. "here we go" she muttered to herself and stood up. she held a clear plastic baby bottle in her hand, along with a pale yellow lid. the bottle itself was dotted with white stars. 

seeing her find this in a draw, made me wonder, "mommy has other babies?"

lilou paused and looked from the bottle toward me, "well no, you're my only baby now, but i have been in a few other relationships before you though bear"

"me only baby now?" i asked, just to make sure. "of course, just you billie" lilou smiled. i winced before i could respond, feeling my stomach twist. 

"milk or water darling?" 

thinking about anything going into me other than medicine right now was making me feel queasy, so i just lifted my finger and pointed to the sink. "water?" lilou asked preparing to turn on the tap. i nodded, then watched her fill the bottle. 

she screwed on the lid tightly after turning off the tap and walked over to me. she put the bottle down and took the medicine from me. "let's head back, cuddle bug," the taller girl slipped her hands under my arms and pulled me off of the marble counter top and into her embrace. she slid a hand underneath me and used her other to quickly grab the two items before moving that hand to support me as well. 

once we got back to lilou's bedroom she sat me down on the bed. "here, open your mouth, this should help your tummy feel better soon" she said tapping my lower lip with the tip of the syringe. i opened my mouth hesitantly and let her slide it in. 

"there you go, good girl" lilou praised pulling the tube out of my mouth. i swallowed and made a funny face earning a chuckle from lilou. she put the bottle in my hands, encouraging me to wash away the taste. the overwhelming feeling of embarrassment suddenly washed over me.

i'm a baby.

"what's the matter ange?" lilou asked taking a seat on the bed, beside me. "billie baby, big baby" i mumbled pushing the bottle to her. "nonsense. your my baby, for sure, but you're not a big baby" lilou shook her head "what's making you think that?"

"paci 'n dat, 'n st'wab" 

lilou shook her head again and laid back into the mattress, "c'mere little one"

i turned and slowly crawled into her arms. "you, my love, are so much more than just a baby, get those silly little thoughts out of your head" she affirmed, brushing my teal hair out from my eyes. "p'omise?" i asked, looking up through my lashes. 

"i promise. can you drink some water now please?"

i looked back to the bottle and chewed my lip. "no laugh at me?" i asked. "no, never in a million years sweetheart" 

i took the bottle anxiously and rolled onto my back, laying on lilou's arm. i held the star patterned bottle with both my small hands, bringing it up to my lips. i gently rubbed the rubber against my lips. 

lilou was looking at me fondly. "you got this princess" she cheered softly. i squeezed my eyes shut and slipped the teat between my lips, scared of how lilou would react. "baby" she sighed, "open your eyes silly girl"

i opened them a tiny bit to squint at lilou, she was smiling, "let mommy see your pretty eyes baby"

i blinked them open, my face flushing. "salut chérie " lilou grinned, "you look so cute"

i whined and turned my head away from her, feeling cold water droplets hit my tongue. lilou placed her hand on my roiling stomach, rubbing a few circles, "sorry amour, didn't mean to embarrass you"

a sharp pain in my lower abdomen make me suddenly shoot up right, dropping the bottle. lilou snatched her hand back and started apologizing again.

"no, mommy" i whined wrapping my hands around my belly, "no you"

"oh- are you okay? what happened sweetheart?" lilou asked, sitting up too. i groaned, feeling my stomach bubbling. a small sound emitted from under me, making both lilou and i look behind me. 

the older teen quirked a brow, amusedly, "did you just fart, bee?" 

the blush darkened on my cheeks as i shifted uncomfortably, "mommy? where ' your potty?"