Ma Fille Chérie | Billie Eilish

quarante-et-un

a/n:

before this book comes to a close give me all ur ideas you wanna see in it!!

merry christmas dudes! it's christmas in australia today!

lilou roux, november 15th

los angeles | CA

"no, come with me. please!" billie huffed pulling my arm. "i think it'd be better if you did it on your own ma cherie-" i started but was cut off by the frustrated girl again. "lilou, please!" she exasperated, her eyes welling up with tears. "okay okay, no tears, it's alright, i'll come with you" i caved, bowing my head and bringing her into my arms. 

"i-it's too hard for me- my brain won't- and-and i can't-" she blubbered incoherently, sniffing and coughing. "hey, shh, its okay. take some deep breaths, im gonna come with you, dont worry" i assured rubbing circles with my palm into her lower back. billie squeezed me tightly to comfort herself and calm down. 

"that's it, good job baby" i praised pressing a kiss to her forehead. her slightly shaking body soon lulled, and she sat up on my lap wiping her damp cheeks.

"ready?" i asked. the girl nodded hesitantly, she didn't want to do this, i didn't particularly want to do this either, but there wasn't really a way around it. "okay, let's go then fille chérie. it'll be okay, i promise you" i reassured, lacing our fingers together and helping billie off my lap. she nodded letting out a shaky breath.

"mom?"

billie's mom appeared from around the corner and rushed over to her daughter. "im sorry honey, are you okay?" she asked quickly, taking a hold of her spare hand. the girl nodded timidly before clearing her throat, "uhm, can we talk? with like every body?" 

maggie nodded back, "yeah, okay, i'll go get everyone, uhm, do you wanna do this out here?" 

"mhm, thanks," billie agreed and we walked toward the lounge room. "you're doing awesome angel," i whispered, giving her hand a light squeeze. billie sat down on the sofa, i followed suit sitting down beside her shortly after. 

maggie arrived back with her brother and her dad on the way. "sorry bil," finneas apologised solemnly. billie didn't respond, she just awkwardly smiled and scratched her upper arm. "what's going on? is everything okay?" billie's dad asked stepping into the room. 

"sit down," maggie said to her husband patting the spot next to her, "billie wants to talk"

i could feel the girls hand become clammy and slightly shaky in my grip, so i loosened it a bit. billie's dad eyed our interlaced hands and her nervous daughter, and by the small widening of his eyes i think he started to put some of the puzzle pieces together. 

"uhm, dad," billie started by clearing her throat again. "this is lilou" billie introduced me to her dad, "lilou, this is my dad, patrick."

"hello" i said sending the older man a gentle smile. "hi" he replied, a confused expression still upon his face. "and um, lilou is my, uhm." the girl struggled to get her words out, her anxiety starting to take over.

 "i'm so proud of you, you're doing so well" i leaned in and whispered into her ear. "can-can you just say it please" billie asked, her voice wavering. "okay" i agreed, give her thigh an empathetic rub. 

"i'm billie's girlfriend." 

patrick's breath hitched in his throat for a second before opening his mouth. "how long, how long have you been together?" he asked hesitating. "i don't know," billie shrugged, looking down at her lap. the man's eyes fell on me, still waiting for a proper answer. "not too long, a little over a week" i answered for billie. 

"are you gay?" patrick suddenly asked billie, causing maggie to tell him off. i felt billie stiffen beside me. "patrick," the older woman scolded, obviously referring to the now very uncomfortable billie. "i don't know dad." billie mumbled out, letting go of my hand and starting to pull at the skin around her fingers. 

"i just like lilou, like a lot, and i dont know much about anything im feeling right now, okay? so if i dont talk about it, it's because i just don't know."

"we love you always," maggie reminded, pointing to the three of them on the couch. "i can vouch for that" finneas smiled. billie looked up at her dad cautiously waiting for him to say something, anything, reassuring. 

"i do love you billie, always, don't doubt it"

"i just didn't wanna hide lilou from you anymore, and well me also, sorry i've been acting like this, im working on it" billie admitted looking up at me. i nodded and looked to her family. "thanks bil, i know how hard that must of been for you" finneas said, in all sincerity. maggie hummed in agreement to her son's statement and reached out to rub billie knee with a warm smile. 

"i'm sorry for being a dick sometimes too, i'm gonna be extremely conscious about it from now on" finneas told his younger sister apologetically. "thank you" billie said quietly. 

"i'm just glad she cant get pregnant-"

"patrick!"