Ma Fille Chérie | Billie Eilish

cinquante-deux

a/n:

some days i wish i could just teleport to be w/ them

coldplay has a choke hold on my depression

kodaline >>>>

billie eilish, december 12th

los angeles | CA

"go fuck him up," lilou nudged me, looking at my deal of cards. "bitch!" i yelled sassily laying down a pick up four card for finneas to pick up, on top of the parisienne's already pick up four. i stuck my tongue out at my brother as he groaned, picking up the extra eight cards just as he was on uno. 

claudia put down one of her last cards, but with lilou wanting me to win this round she didn't change the color as she knew my last card was a red one. she simply picked up, letting me slam down my only card left. "i win!" i cheered. 

lilou sent me a knowing smile as she laid down her last cards. "i'm sick of this game, you two are ganging up on me," finn said pointing between lilou and i sitting across from them on the living room floor. "no, you're just a sore loser" i stated, starting to pack up the deck of uno. he rolled his eyes at me, earning a scold from claudia. 

"what do you guys feel like for dinner? i'm gonna order some soon," lilou asked. "you don't have to," finneas said taking the carboard box from me since he saw i was having trouble getting the cards back in. "but i'm always over here and eating your food, it's only fair," she shrugged. 

claudia chimed in a retaliation before finneas could. while the three of them bickered about dinner, i took notice to my stomach cramping just that little bit too much. "uhm, i'm going to the bathroom," i said to lilou as i stood up from the hardwood floor. 

"oh okay, are you okay?" she asked zoning out of the conversation, looking up at me. i nodded and walked past her and toward the bathroom. "shit, lilou look," i heard claudia whisper. "oh, uhm, billie!" i heard behind me and lilou's footsteps coming up behind me. i turned around as she approached.

"what? what are you doing?" i asked, feeling her trying to be directly behind me as i continued to walk. i then quickly connected all the dots, and whipped my head so fast over my shoulder to try and see my ass. 

"fuck! is it my period!? is there blood?!" i panicked. "hey, shh, it's alright, keep going to the bathroom," lilou said, placing a hand on my lower back and ushering me down the hall. "no, no, no," i mumbled to myself. 

my period's pretty irregular, but when it comes it's always the most agonizing week of my life. i dread it every time. 

of course i'm gonna have it on my fucking birthday, are you actually kidding me?

once we got into the bathroom i quickly turned to examine my backside in the mirror. as expected, there was a dark red patch formed, trailing up from between my legs. "you've got to be shitting me," i groaned turning to face lilou who was standing in the door way.

"uhh, do you want me to go get you some new pants and underwear?" she asked with a empathetic look in her eyes. i sighed with a nod, "yeah, thanks"

she moved from the door and headed to my room. i bent down in front of cabinet under the sink and looked through it to find the packet of pads i thought i had in here. the older girl walked into the bathroom with the clothes, placing them down on the sink. 

"can you not find anything?" she asked me. "well, no. i thought i had some in here. i guess i ran out," i said shutting the doors. "i have some tampons in my car, i can go get them?" she suggested. i hesitated, "i- uhm, i've never used one," 

"you haven't? oh," the girl said as i shook my head. "well, we have a bit of a dilemma don't we?" lilou said. "i'll go ask claudia if she has anything"

i knelt on the bathroom floor by the cabinet waiting for my girlfriend to come back. 

"bad news, claudia only has tampons too" lilou said walking back into the doorway and leaning against the frame. "'fucks sake," i groaned letting my head hit the wood beside me. the french girl asked cautiously, "do you wanna try one?" 

♡

"is it in?" lilou asked as i opened the bathroom door slowly. "yeah, i think" i nodded. "i feel like it'll leak though,"

"i mean, i'm not gonna lie to you, it might, but from my experiences it only leaks rarely, and that's because i've been a bit lazy and not changed it enough" she said.

 "can you come lay down with me? my stomach really hurts now," i asked quietly. "mhm, i will, just gotta go tell finneas something and i'll come" she said pointing back to the living room over her shoulder. i nodded and trudged down to my room, a hand holding my lower stomach.

i flopped onto my bed, bringing my legs up to my chest.

after a few minutes, i heard the creak of my door open and the bed dip behind me. "hi, baby" lilou said quietly, laying down. i turned over to face the girl, looking up at her affectionately through my messy hair, "hi"

she brushed it out of my eyes and kissed my nose softly, causing it to scrunch up. i let my head fall into her neck, my eye lashes tickling her skin with every blink. lilou wrapped her arms around me protectively, her thumb caressing my soft skin where my shirt had rode up. 

i sighed in content before tilting my head up to kiss her jaw.

"how's your stomach going?" lilou asked, trailing her nails up and down my back under my shirt. "much better, you fix everything," i mumbled into her. her chest wobbled with a light chuckle, "not everything, i can try though"

"you just trying is always gonna be enough for me"