Ma Fille Chérie | Billie Eilish

vingt-six

a/n:

it's my birthday :p

one year closer to death <333

i feel like this story has like zero plot line lmaoooooooo

12K!!

billie eilish, november 8th

los angeles | CA

the tension was building in the air, we both knew we had to have a talk about everything soon, but everything was just going so well at the moment and neither of us wanted to change that with a serious conversation.

but, it had to be done.

lilou paused the movie we were watching on my laptop and looked over at me, "bil?"

"hm? what's up" i asked. "you said you wanted to be with me, right?" the french girl asked. i rubbed the back of my neck, "yeah...i did say that didn't i"

lilou just looked at me, waiting for me to explain myself. i took a deep breath and played with the end of my shirt, "well i do wanna be with you, uhm, and i wanna try more stuff with you but i can't bring myself to ever talk about it because i always, always, chicken out"

lilou took my hands off the hem of my shirt and held them against her chest, "and that's okay though, you can always talk to me when your ready"

"no," i shook my head, "i want- i want you to help me. to push me. because i can't do it myself." i whined slightly. i was getting fed up with myself.

i just needed that encouragement.

"oh, okay. i can try my best" she gave me a slanted smile. "thanks,"

"so, billie," lilou smirked. "yeah?" i asked cautiously, knowing she was up to something. "i know you wanna take things slow, and that's completely fine but, do you maybe wanna soyez ma petite amie?"

i furrowed my eyebrows, "did you forget i can only speak english?" 

lilou giggled letting her head fall into me, "no, i didn't, mon amour, i just got nervous and mon français came out"

"oh," i laughed. 

"wait," i said pulling out my phone and googling a french translator, "say it again." i clicked my speech to text button and held it to mouth. she kept laughing anxiously, "lilou! just say it!" 

"veux-tu être ma petite amie billie? "

i watched the words she managed to spit out translate into english. "do you wanna be my-" i gasped and looked at lilou. she was peeking through her hands at me. 

i looked back down at my phone grinning and typed my response into the translator, letting the french siri talk for me.

"pensais-tu vraiment que je dirais non à ton beau cul ?"

lilou pulled her hands away from her face, placing them on my cheeks. "hm, maybe" she shrugged dipping her head down to kiss me. my eyelids fluttered shut, relaxing into her.

as much as going into a relationship was borderline terrifying, i knew i was going to okay, lilou says it way too much for it to be a lie.

"you're mine bils, can you believe it?!" 

i giggled into her, "i'm yours"

♡

my family sat around the dinner table quietly eating, except for lilou and i who kept whispering random things to each other. "you two giggling girty's can leave the table," my dad chuckled lowly. 

lilou and i got up from the chairs, "thank you for dinner maggie, it was really good"

"uh yeah, thanks mom" i said following the older girls lead, rocking back and forth on my heels awkwardly. my mom smiled so i took lilou's hand and walked away from the table.

"that was a better interaction" she said as we walked back into my room. i nodded, "thanks" 

i shut the door and looked at the lock, "uh lilou" i asked, fiddling with the door handle. "yeah?" she asked sitting down on my bed. 

"can i be small? i've never voluntarily slipped but i-i wanna try, can i?"

lilou smiled, "so brave for asking, of course you can, would you like me to help?" i flicked the lock on the door and walked over to lilou nodding. she held out her arms for me to climb into her lap, "one more big girl kiss though"

i grabbed onto her hands and leaned forward pursing my lips. the french girl smiled and squeezed my hands, kissing me affectionately. she pulled back and pulled me into her by my hips. 

i stifled a laugh and sat down in her lap, "you wanna be mommy's baby, hm, little one?"

my giggle died down, my face flushing. the same fuzzy feeling in my mind that i got earlier today came back.

well, that was awfully quick. 

"do you has st'awb?" i asked quietly. "wow, did you already slip baby?" lilou asked. i nodded, avoiding her eye contact, looking around the room for my stuffed animal. 

"that's not a bad thing, ourse, mommy was just surprised, that's all"

"st'awb?" i asked again, getting upset when i couldn't see her. "it's okay love, she's in my bag over there, wanna go get her?" 

i nodded and got down off lilou and walked over to her backpack. i sat down on the floor in front of it and brought it into my lap. i unzipped the canvas bag and squealed happily when i saw the pink bunny. i pulled her out quickly and gave her a squeeze. 

along with strawb, came another item that accidently flew out. i tucked my bunny under my arm and turned around to see what it was. it was small, and a lavender color. 

"mommy what's dat?"

 i asked pointing to the purple object. lilou picked it up, "i noticed you sucked your thumb so i bought this for you, for when you wanted it of course, and it doesn't matter if you don't want it" she shrugged showing it to me.

"for me?" i asked looking at it. "yeah, it's for you angel"

"can i has it mommy?" i asked holding my hand out. she nodded and gave it to me. i put strawb down so i could use both hands to play with it. i looked at lilou and tentatively lifted it toward my mouth, but i dropped my hands whining. 

"you got it darling," the older girl encouraged. i shook my head and turned from lilou, facing my closest mirror. i watched her get down off the bed and pick up the discarded pacifier. 

"here, we'll do it together, mommy will help"

she put it in my palm before slipping her hand underneath mine. i watched myself in the mirror as lilou guided my hand to my mouth. i soon felt the silicon rub against my lips. my heart was beating really fast, i was scared of what everyone would think, what lilou would think. 

without even realizing, lilou had slid it between my lips. her hands came down along with mine, giving me a full view of what i looked like.

my eyes were wide, my cheeks pink. "you did it baby! look at you, you're so cute!" lilou cooed lifting her hand to rub my warm cheek with the pad of her thumb. 

i got off my knees and settled myself down back on her lap, still watching myself in the mirror. lilou wrapped her arms around my waist and pressed her lips to the side of my head, just above my ear. 

"mon brave petit amour"