Ma Fille Chérie | Billie Eilish

cinquante-et-un

a/n: 

showed up for a shift today when i wasn't even rostered on. kms.

i go on camp next week 

will u miss me?

lilou roux, december 9th

los angeles | CA

i stuck my hand into the shower, turning the hot water on to let it heat up before we got undressed. i turned back to billie. she was undoubtedly nervous, but there seemed to be a hint of childlike innocence as she watched me. in my head i decided that i should rip off the band aid and just start taking my clothes off, in hopes the other girl would follow in suit.

being completely vulnerable in front of my girlfriend is anxiety inducing in itself, but adding billie's tendencies made me a little more on edge. 

i don't want her to freak out.

i pulled off my shirt, unsticking it from my skin. i let it drop onto the tile, before slowly unbuttoning my jeans and tugging them down. i could feel billie watching me, but she wasn't making a move. i stepped out of the denim, looking at the girl. 

"you okay?" i asked again. billie nodded playing with her hands. "is there something i can help you with?" i quizzed, furrowing my brows slightly. the younger girl looked like she wanted to say something, but she couldn't bring herself too.

i thought about what she could need me for. i thought back to when we went to the pool last month, and an idea surfaced. "...would you like me to help take your clothes off, darling?" i asked. 

billie nodded, "p-please" she squeaked.

"of course, baby. don't worry" i said empathetically taking a step closer to her. "arms up" i said softly as i grabbed onto the hem of her sweater. she lifted her hands up above her head, so i could slide the cotton up and over. 

i dropped it to the floor like mine, then unzipping her skirt, and letting that drop as well.

we both stood stark in our underwear, wondering who would take that last step. "ah fuck it," i chuckled, before reaching behind my back and unclipping the strap of my bra. i let it fall off of my shoulders, exposing my chest. 

i saw billies eyes widen a little and her cheeks flush a rosey color, as she watched my nipples hardened after the cold air hit them. i swiftly tugged down my underwear before gently putting my hands out to billie's sides. "can i?" i asked. her arms lifted so i could reach behind her back to unclip her bra too.

within a few seconds my fingers had pushed down the last of her clothes. before billie could get too embarrassed and shy, i took her hand and brought her over to the glass door of the shower. i pushed it open with my forearm and stepped into the steam. "uh i think that's gonna be way too hot," billie said quietly making me laugh, "you think?"

i turned the water temperature down and stuck my hand into the water. "merde! that is like a demon in liquid form!" i yelped making billie giggle. the water soon cooled down enough that we could stand under the stream. i stood billie in front of me, so we could both get a good amount of the water.

"you feeling okay?" i checked in over the loud splashing of the shower. billie looked over her shoulder at me, smiling softly. she nodded before turning to face me and wrapping her arms around my waist.