Ma Fille Chérie | Billie Eilish

cinq

a/n:

thankq for 200 reads!!

also everyone thank billiesdegradingkink for telling me to update because i wouldn't if she wasn't pestering me with her impatient ass

billie eilish, november 1st

los angeles | CA

i threw off my towel and got dressed with angry tears pouring down my cheeks. why would he just out me like that? 

"billie, please, i'm really sorry" 

"fuck off!"

my moms voice soon came into the mix of my yelling and finneas' apologizing. "finn, honey, just give her space" i heard her quietly say to my brother. fucking finally. 

once i had clothes on a crawled into bed and just cried. i was so embarrassed and confused. i didn't even know if i liked her myself, and finneas just told my mom i did. i should of played it off, now by my dramatics it basically confirmed what he said was true. 

and, by the way i reacted, it must be true. 

speaking of her, i haven't texted back.

i don't really want to speak to lilou right now. i just wanna be alone. 

i picked up my phone that was discarded in my sheets and went onto instagram.

wherearetheavacadoes
hey
im back
but i've gotta go
um be back later 

l_roux
oh okay
bye cutie <33
seen

i slipped my phone under my pillow and curled up under my blankets. 

i don't think i've ever reacted like this about someone i've liked. which is lowkey scaring me. it was all so fast. is it normal to get a crush on someone this fast?

does she like me?

do i even want to be with her?

i haven't seen her in real life. i don't know much about her. i don't even know if she lives in the los angeles area. 

fuck, i'm getting ahead of myself here.

why did this have to be so hard for me? it's just a crush billie. it's fine.  i shoved my head into my pillow and yelled in frustration. 

get. your. shit. together.

♡

"billie, do you want some lunch, sweetie?" my mom knocked on my door making me stirr in my sleep. i don't remember falling asleep. i mumbled something incoherent as i rolled over.

"billie?"

i rubbed my eyes, "yeah, what?" i groaned. "do you want some lunch?" she asked again. "umm" i said but ironically felt my stomach rumble. "yeah, i- uh i'll come out" i said wiping the drool off my cheek. 

"okay, burrito?"

"mhm" i hummed getting out my bed. i yawned and walked over to the door. i opened it up and trudged sleepily down the hall to the kitchen. as soon as i walked in my bloodshot eyes met finneas'. 

my face heated up again. 

i looked away and went to sit down at the dining table. "billie," finneas started but i put a hand up to him, "don't." 

"i just wanna eat"

"oh um, okay. but can we talk, at some point?" finneas asked. i nodded. "later, not now" i murmured as mom set down a plate in front of me. "did you go to sleep?" my mom asked looking at my tired state.

i shrugged picking up my burrito, "yeah, i don't remember falling asleep though" 

the room went quiet and i felt both mom and finneas looking at me. i looked up chewing. "what?" i spoke muffledly. 

they didn't say anything. i swallowed my mouthful and pointed my burrito between them. "stop looking at me like that, both of you" i said before putting my burrito back on my plate and looking at it. "can we just not, talk about or remember what happened" i sighed leaning my head on my hand.

"billie, honey, i just want you to know that i don't care who you like or don't like, and i love you no matter what, okay?"

my face grew red once again. it's been a frequent occurrence since yesterday. i didn't say anything i just quickly ate my burrito and stood up from the table. 

"um, whens dad getting home?" i asked looking down at my feet. "tonight, he's bringing home dinner" my mom answered for me. i nodded, "oh okay, i uh, i'm just gonna go back to my room" i said starting to walk away. 

"billie, can i please just talk to you?" finneas asked catching up to me and putting a hand on my shoulder. "no finneas, not now" i said shrugging him off.

"i'm not ready"