Ma Fille Chérie | Billie Eilish

cinquante-huit

a/n:

this week has been the week from hell istg

if you're reading this i love you

lilou roux, december 27th

LAX international airport

the airport was already bustling, people rushing and running all over the place. billie stayed so close to my side she kept tripping on my feet. i could tell the girl was incredibly overwhelmed, especially since she wasn't even fully awake yet. 

i had a suspicion she was slipping too, the silence and the way she carried herself was a dead giveaway. 

we joined the line for baggage check in, which fortunately wasn't as long as i was expecting. billie decided she would sit backwards on her suitcase, and every time we moved up in the line i dragged her which she found very entertaining.

"ready? we're moving again," i said as i saw the people in front of me walk a few steps forward. the girl sitting on the suitcase nodded happily, holding onto the handle tightly. i pulled the luggage behind me, billie letting out a small squeal of glee.

it's the small things with this girl.

"again, again,"

"we can't go again just yet, we gotta wait until they move up," i told her, which i have told her every time i've done this, she still doesn't take it any lighter. "but i wanna go again," she pouted. "i know you do, and we've been over this like twenty times, we gotta wait a minute," i said with a sigh.

the girls bottom lip wobbled, and i mentally slapped myself. 

"shh, no tears, you're okay," i quickly comforted her, trying to shut down any sudden outbursts that would cause unnecessary focus on her. "you're so tired, huh?" i cooed as she rubbed her watery eyes.

"look at that, we're moving again," i said, instantly her mood lifted. 

"go, go, go" she chanted. 

we moved to the front of the line, i dragged billie on the suitcase beside me and handed the woman my license and plane tickets over. "you gotta hop off this, we gotta put it up here," i told billie pointing to where my suitcase was, getting the sticker around the handle. "but-but, no more ride?" she asked sadly. 

"yeah, no more rides for now, sorry darling," i said helping her off. i loaded it up onto the conveyor belt and answered a few questions, "any flammables or aerosol's?"

"no ma'am," 

billie stood behind me timidly, holding onto my leg. after a few more questions we were checked in, so i grabbed billie's hand and walked back into the busy airport. "do you feel like eating anything yet, ma précieuse?"

the small girl shook her head, clinging onto me. "how about we go find our gate and you can take a little nap on me, hm?" i suggested, earning a nod from the sleepy billie. i don't know how much of a problem going through security will be, but we will sure find out soon.

we approached the lines of people taking off their bags, some even taking off shoes and clothing. billie looked up to me curiously, tugging up on her hoodie. "oh- no, baby, we don't have to take our clothes off," i said stopping her from pulling the blue material off.

"we just have to put the bags in these little tubs," i explained grabbing two and shrugging billie's bag off my shoulders and setting it in the plastic bin. i helped take mine off billie and put it in the tub beside mine.

i slid the two tubs up the table onto the rolling conveyer. i looked up and realized i was the next person to go through the metal detector, so i turned around and quickly explained what it was to billie.

"i'm gonna walk through, and you stay here for a second, then you come through to me on the other side, that's all," i told her, tucking some baby hairs behind her ear. 

"miss, please walk through, you're holding up the line,"

"sorry," i apologized quickly as i walked through the archway. i turned around once i went through to see billie looking a bit bewildered. "come through, sweetheart," i said waving her through. 

she shook her head and took a few steps back. "shit, she's gonna run," i muttered to myself. 

"go around and help her through," the security guard told me moving out of the way of the gap, seeing how billie was hesitant. i thanked him and walked through, taking her hand before she could bolt.

"it's okay, you're okay," 

"we'll go through together okay? do it with mommy?" i coaxed, taking her over to the detector. billie was holding onto my arm so tightly, i started to feel her nails digging into my skin. i gently pushed her from behind, ushering her through. 

thankfully, no beeping sounded and billie calmed down. "see? nothing happened, baby," i said pressing a kiss to the side of her head. i grabbed our bags, putting them back on our backs. i let out a breath as we walked away from security.

no more interruptions from now on.

billie dawdled beside me chewing on the string of her hoodie, her eyelids drooping. i've never seen someone so close to sleeping while they were walking. we walked around the terminal for nearly fifteen minutes trying to find the damned gate.

i knew i had to find it soon or billie would fall apart. 

"mommmyyyy," she whined beside me, slowing her walking down even further. "i know, baby, i know, we're nearly there," i said sympathetically. "we can't stop here, there's people everywhere, only a few more minutes i promise," 

billie looked up the roof and started to cry, "no moreeee" well shit.

i had no other choice but to keep the girl walking, i could almost see the number on the wall. 

as soon as we walked onto the carpet and into the rows of seats i b-lined it to the wide ledge on the window sil. it would be better for us to sit away from the other passengers while billie was upset. 

i took off my bag and sat down, pulling billie onto my lap. she rolled around onto her front, throwing her arms around my shoulders and pulling herself in close. she continued to cry a little into my neck but it didn't take long for them to lull, too tired to continue.

"there we go, good girl," i whispered, kissing her temple. the sleepy teens eye's fell closed, the drawstring still in her mouth.