I was first going to make this for someone special..., so in somewhat they wouldn't be alone when telling their feelings...I don't think they actually needs that from me though...but still I kind of also think this would help me out as well, especia...
I never really could keep a diary...every-time I tried...It usually turns into a sketchbook, or I just forget about it and cry it over instead. Though I can't turn this into a sketchbook lol...since it is online haha....
Anyway...not really sure what to say here...I guess whatever pops in my head?
Honestly, a lot of things pop in my head...too many things, its like a train. A train that never stops, Sometimes I am not sure if it is because of my ADHD or because I am just a weird...unlikable child. Even when I am talking to someone, my brain changes, it changes over and over again. Predicting situations, even if its a bad situation. Telling me how to react. It bothers me...cause sometimes...what I predict, doesn't always turn out to be the best.
I might have anxiety....I don't really know, because I am like a uh....people pleaser? I try my best to help everyone but it doesn't always works. It never works actually...I am really bad at understanding people, I think it hurts people when i try to understand them and fail. I talk too much to...a lot of people, when they are shy, they don't like to talk. or to Interact. I am the exact opposite, I need to talk, talk to anyone, I need to feel needed. wanted. If I don't, it makes me sad, too sad to the point where I feel like I shouldn't exist.
But...that is another thing...I really do...talk too much, I don't think I can help it. I feel like an annoying person, I feel unwanted, I feel like a young child who no one wants to be around. I want to be pretty, I want to feel popular. But I can't have that...because I just can't talk to people normally, I always have to say something....I can switch from talking about penguins to talking about food in a matter of seconds, anything can remind me of something and I can talk about it for hours beyond hours. I know it drives people away, people don't like to talk to me because I talk too much. Its hurts...but I have learned to deal with it....it really does hurt though when people think your so annoying...I don't like being the weird, childish, ugly kid but I can't help it and it hurts.
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