My secrets that are not really secret.

Move on

4/24/22

I decided that the only way to move on is to stop thinking about the fake and think about the truth. The truth is that my ex never really cared for me. It was all in my head, and I am pretty sure I made up anything that was love. Cause...it wasn't really. I need to keep reminding myself that, no matter what, you shouldn't think about those who don't and never will care about you. Its the truth that I find hard to really accept but deep down I know it...and thus I must learn to stop caring. Of course will be hard, I have the tendency to think about those who don't give a rats ass about me. Which I need to work on... 

One of my theories that help, force my brain to move on is that I tell it...that I was in a sort of abusive relationship, or a possible future one and I just "miss the bullet." I know its not true, but maybe it is? Like I said; I have the tendency to think and care for those who don't care about me. Maybe I was being manipulated and used for sexual purposes. Could be a possiblity...it is a far stretch but I can never rule it out. Always must be mentally prepared for the worst, meaning I also have to prepare to be manipulated and used as only a sex-pleaser. I have to stop being clingy, stop second guessing about people and only assume the worst. People will tell you all the nicest things, then abandoned you after you give them what you need. I will never get myself in that situation again that is for sure!

Anyway, I got a new bird, his name is Milo...he is feisty and I am scared he might hurt himself. We just got him and he is not even scared of being in a new home, he is already trying to sing, trying to fly and climb all over the place. While I am glad he is very happy and comfortable to be with us...I wish my baby was more careful. I don't want him to get hurt or scared like Pico, I wouldn't be able to see him, lying on the ground, lifeless, cold...dead.

I miss Pico..