My secrets that are not really secret.

Fool

11/6/21

My mom always told me not to get attached to online people, you never know if they your friends or not. I am a fool to ignore her. Now I have gotten myself attached to random people on the internet when they don't care the slightest about me. They would forget me in seconds if I just left for a few days. I thought if I left I would feel better, but now I am just back to the same old boring life. Nothing changed, tomorrow was another day yet I just wasn't able to have something to distract my mind off of the mental pain. But...I guess I am only putting myself through this because I am lonely, I don't like to be alone, I am clingy and annoying. I don't care if they don't care about me. Like the brat I am I just want attention and someone to talk to. I don't wanna be alone with my thoughts.

So once again I am just going to annoy these poor people, if they wanna leave that is fair. I have nothing to offer in the end. But I will take what company I can before they tell me that I am annoying and they don't want me around.

I know they don't care, I know they rather not have me around. They do a lot of things together and I am usually never asked to participate. That is fine. I just can't get attach to people who don't care. All I can do is at least enjoy the company they wanna give me. That is ok. I wish I had real friends though, in real life and with the ones I met online....though I guess this is all I am gonna get so I might as well take it.

I shouldn't be putting myself through this I know, I should try to socialize in real life but that never worked, even my real-life "friends" just see me as a little annoying kid, stupid and they don't want me around either. I should have just left, never come back and sit alone with my awful thoughts or find an alternate-healthy way to handle my negative thoughts. But like I said, I am a fool...and fools do foolish things.

Yeah Nevermind there is really no point.