saving grace

Chapter 18: Kiss It Better

"I love you."

You're not sure what came over you in that moment, whether it be the only motherly figure you know questioning your decisions, or the stress of your dad being in the hospital, or the overwhelming reality of life in Los Angeles, but you just said it.

Cate looked at you almost perplexed.

Tears brimmed your eye lids and you threw your hands around as you began to speak.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have just blurted it out. And I don't expect you to say it back, you genuinely don't have to, like I promise, but with all of the shit going on in our lives right now...I need you to know. I'm just...I just need you to know," you babbled.

Cate turned to face you completely and grabbed your hand to intertwine your fingers with hers. She took her other hand to the side of you neck, her thumb softly running the length of your throat. She stared into your eyes, yours darting back and forth, looking for some sort of answer.

In her mind, Cate knew that what she had for you was something different, something extraordinary, something life changing. She shared these similar feelings with you, for you, and yet, the three words didn't dare to escape.

She brought her mouth to yours, pressing lightly on your throat to hold your head in place. She kissed you desperately, warm water from your eyes trickled down to dance across your lips. You felt a grin grow at the sensation, and you wanted to melt into her touch, but she pulled back before you could.

Her thumb continued its trace as her eyes lingering on the place her mouth just left.

Cate spoke, "Thank you for loving me."

She glanced up at you before softly landing her lips on your forehead. She closed her eyes, taking in the moment, fighting off her own tears. She stayed there for just a second, breathing in the smell of your vanilla conditioner, and searching for what to say next.

She separated, bringing the back of your hand to her mouth, but before she placed her lips there, she mumbled.

"I want to..say it back. I do. I'm just-"

You cut her off.

"Don't say another word. I understand."

You lifted your index finger to press the back of it slightly against the bottom of her chin, as she still held your hand close to her face. You wanted her eye-line to match yours.

"I understand," you repeated after finding her orbs.

She delicately put her lips to your index finger, pursing once more.

"Let's go," you said softly with the turn of your mouth.

After you opened the door, you took both hands behind your back to grab the one of you never wanted to let go of.

The drive to the hospital was rather silent but in a good way. You weren't upset with the fact Cate didn't reciprocate the three words, you genuinely understood her lack of verbalization. She's gone through so much as of late, it's a wonder that she has the mental capacity to pour out as much as she does.

When you arrived at the hospital, you walked hand in hand with Cate. You took a deep breath when you saw your stepmother and stepsister from afar, waiting in chairs near the surgery wing. You didn't like the environment to begin with, more or less being surrounded by people that you detested.

You slowly made your way towards your "family," your stepmother awkwardly embracing you in a hug.

"Y/n, it's good to see you," Rose commented after pulling away.