tree climber-- clifford

thirty

omg guys I went and volunteered and we planted trees (ironically) on the mountains n it was cool ok
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AM

A week later, Michael's hearing was gone. I was surprised, but it didn't surprise me as much as I thought it would. Michael had been weird all that morning, trying to hide the fact that he would rub his ears every few minutes "discreetly". I didn't think "wow, this is it. his hearing will go poof". or anything like that.

One second I had turned my back, and he was looking at me with wide-eyes. I knew what had happened, but I didn't say anything. I didn't need to. He then started to cry. He was shouting and he was throwing things. I started to cry too by then, because of the sight of Michael. He was laying on the floor of his kitchen with his hands covering his ears, rocking back and forth. I was crying hard, too much in shock to even walk over to him. So, I stood there bawling, and Michael lay on the kitchen floor in the fetal position.

I eventually had to do something, so I grabbed michaels hand and he stood up, and we walked to my car. He laid in my back seat, all sprawled out. it would have made me smile, under different cercumstances. I drove to the hospital, the same one that we've always been to. through tears, I told the receptionist our story and she let us wait. We waited for about thirty minutes, (it felt like 30 hours) until the same doctor guy came out and called for Michael. I had to pull him up out of his seat. he obviously couldn't hear his name being called.We went into a private room, and he did some physical tests on michael. I sat and waited in the corner. the doctor had a little white board, that he wrote on to communicate with Michael for the most part, until Michael turned on his phone and started typing on that instead. He and the doctor did that for an hour or so. apparently, michael will need to learn sign language. I laughed. why the hell would he think that Michael would accept this and want to learn something new. He'll have to. said the doctor. I just coldly laughed in his face again.

Karen showed up soon enough after that and I left. I didn't want to deal with anything that was going on. I knew this wouldn't be easy, and I knew I wasn't making it any easier. Michael needed his mother's help, not mine. I'm not his mom, nor his care-taker. I was determined to still be there (for the most part) for him, but I wouldn't let it destroy me, as it was destroying him. I wanted to live my life, not end it. Michael's a man. he needed to deal with change, learn from it and move on.

I love him, I do. But, I do not love this.

hah this is short af but im tired n im going to Vegas tomorrow. maybe an update again tomorrow idk fam
love yall