tree climber-- clifford

iii {three}

today, was ok. No sign of Michael really, except a blank face.

Mother is mad at me. Why will one below 90% scored test affect my long-term schooling? will it?

planning on reading something new. The other I started is quite boring.

the requirements I was given, or so called, 'recommendations' say to write down my 'feelings' of the now.

Feeling?

alone

lost

sad

lonely.

empty

I have one thing that's questionable at the moment;

why?

Why am I pushed to the absolute edge with everything?

why can't I just be myself? Can I not?

Why can't anyone?

no tree reading for me tonight, "I must catch up," states mom,

I was never caught down.

Love always,

autumn may

--mgc--

slow and steady wins the race.

At least that's what I've been telling myself lately.

just keep going,

The lads have been distant with me, maybe it's my distance towards life.

I'm trying to participate. Like Charlie, -try.

Try, try, try.

Let go, let go, let go.

And, repeat.

a.m seemed off today. I hope she's alright.

Almost finished with the book she lent me.

It's pretty fantastic; confusing though.

mother is ok, mostly. Both of us are adjusting weirdly.

I think she's still not over the miscarriage.

That upsets me.

It wasn't her fault.

nothing ever is anyone's fault.

again,

mgc

--a.m--

Now, I'm walking.

It's Friday night, after writing I felt that I needed some fresh air. I'm walking to the grocery store nearby, or at least I think I am. No one is really out tonight, which is good.

I thought I should restock on some junk foods, for my night alone.

I arrived, and started filling the small hand-held basket full of items that contained anything with sugar, and/or chocolate.

Mother had given me money, so I'm spending it. What else would I spend it on?

I wanted to also check the hair products aisle, because all of my bobby pins constantly seem to throw themselves in a black hole somewhere and sometime by the end of each week.