I will always love you

Ikea trips

Trixie was nervous.

After last night she couldn't sleep anymore. She was worried about Katya. The Russian girl struggled with anxiety, the older woman remembered their high school days. She knew how much Katya needed help. So she got some ideas, she just hoped that Katya will be on board with it and that the younger woman will not run away.

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Katya's body was shaking. She was about to write an important math test. Trixie tried to give her some tips but it didn't really matter. She was really fucked up.

After finishing her paper she almost cried. She handed it back to her teacher and left the classroom. Katya was the last person to leave.

The bathroom was empty. The only good thing that happened that day. She closed the stall and started to breathe. Her chest felt heavy.

'Don't cry don't cry don't ...' she whispered to herself. It didn't really help, she still ended up falling 'you stupid bitch' it lasted for a while.

The door opened some girls walked in talking about the Friday game. She didn't want to be 'a wired girl crying in the school bathroom' so she wiped her tears as quickly as she could. She didn't feel any better but at least she stopped crying. She left the room and started to finally leave school. Trixie waited for her outside, she knew how much Katya stressed over math she wanted to cheer her up, just a little bit.

"Kitty how was it?" Trixie opened her arms and gave Katya a hug. The younger didn't answer, she just hugged her girlfriend really close, she needed that "Are you okay?" Trixie asked she was worried about her kitten. The Barbie pulled away and looked down. Her girl had mascara all over her face, her lipstick was also messed up, she has been crying Trixie was sure about it.

"I'm fine" Katya pulled away, she didn't want to talk or think about it anymore.

"Are you sure? You look like you have been crying. It's okay, you can tell me everything"

"Nah I'm okay really" Katya started to walk away from her girlfriend. They had this conversation many times before. Trixie followed her into the car. She sat in the driver seat, Katya looked outside and brought her knees to her chest.

"Maybe you can talk to Miss Jinkx, she is actually really nice and maybe it will be ..."

"I'm not going to do that Trix"

"Why Katya? She is not going to make fun of you or anything ..."

Katya cut her of again "I'm not crazy" she screamed "I'm not going to talk to a psychiatrist or any other 'doctor' I don't need that" she said "I'm fine"

Trixie sighed "Okay whatever you say Kitty"

The girls didn't talk about it anymore. Trixie was still worried but Katya was stubborn and scared. She didn't want judgment. Other people had it worst. Her parents didn't even want to hear about therapy, they said it was fake and useless. So did Katya.

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Trixie sat down and order a large iced vanilla latte. Katya was a little late, she ordered a tea and a salad. She promised to eat something today.

"So I wanted to talk about ..." Trixie started.

"Yeah" Katya said, mouth full of lettuce. She looked up at her girlfriend.

"Do you want to move in with me?"

Katya almost choked on her food.

"You don't have to say yes, we don't have to do it now or today or tomorrow. I mean if you want we can but ..." Trixie started to rumble, but Katya cut her of with a kiss. She smiled against her lips.

"I want to do it now, I love living with you mommy" she whispered softly and blushed.

"Okay so ... do you want to go on ikea trip with me?" Trixie asked with a serious tone but she also smiled.

Katya laughed "Yes I do"

"Okay so we got that one of the way" Trixie started to play with a napkin and took a deep breath, she didn't want to ruin the mood but this was important "Have you considered therapy? For your anxiety and nightmares"

"Trix ... I ..." Katya got nervous, she changed her view on therapy but she wasn't sure if it was for her. What if she is to fucked up for therapy?

"Let me talk, please baby" Trixie grabbed Katya's hand and squeezed it in hers "I'm worried about you, last night ... you must be going through so much and I can't help you, it beaks my heart" she started to make little circles on top of her hand "I did therapy and it helped, it was nice to talk to someone about my problems"

"You did? I had no idea" Katya said surprised.

"Well I didn't tell you kitten" the blonde smiled "You can try, just one appointment, if you don't like it you don't have to do it"

"I can't afford it" Katya looked down and bit her bottom lip.

"Don't worry about money"

Katya looked into Trixie's brown eyes, she looked so soft and understanding. Maybe this was a good idea "I will try okay? But if I don't want to ..."

"I'm not going to make you do anything you don't like Kitty"

"I know mama, I know"