Hi, everyone...
It's been a bit since my last one shot and I thought I'd give a bit of an update as to how I'm doing.
Thank you to those who read my note at the end of it and sent me encouragement.
A lot of crap has happened to me over the course of my lifetime. While I am fairly young and have so much more to look forward to, I can't help but dwell on certain situations that have hurt me.
I've been broken too many times and sometimes I wish things would just end.
But then I remember that I have yet to get married. I have yet to have my first kiss with a guy. I'm expecting the birth of my little sibling next year. I so many things that I want to do and see. I know I can't give up. Not now or ever.
Things were starting to look up after the incident with the person I had mentioned in my last one-shot. That is until he texted me again.
He texted me about a week ago saying he missed me and hoped that I would be okay. He said he wasn't sure if it was a good idea to text me. I told him it wasn't unless he wanted a piece of my mind.
He said, "go for it."
I told him how I felt. What I did to myself. That my mental health just hasn't been okay.
I let my emotions flow and told him what was on my mind.
He apologized. He apologized for making me feel that I felt. He said he needed to do it in order to save his own mental health. He said he was still rooting for me even if I hated him. That he did what he had to do in order to protect himself. That he still loved me and that he would be rooting for me.
I then apologized for being so emotional in my messages to him but said it hurt more than he didn't even have the strength to do it himself. That I had to be the one to step away from him because he couldn't do it.
I asked him what I did wrong in order for him to feel like I was draining him. I just needed to know. I can't be draining every person I meet without knowing it. I just wanted to understand so I could better myself.
He never replied.
Now, I'm stuck with this sense of confusion. What did I do? What did I do to deserve what he gave me? All I wanted was to feel loved and accepted. I just wanted to feel like I could talk to someone without having to hold back.
He was that person to me, and now I have no one. I don't know what to do.
I told him literally everything. From what's happened to me in the past to current events to plans for the future. I told him of my heartbreaks and failed love adventures and he hated the people who hurt me.
But he was the one who has hurt me the most.
I don't think I can trust anyone again as I trusted him.
Maybe someday...
Anyways, I'll be taking a bit of a break for now. I'll try to come back as soon as possible. I just need a bit of time to gather my thoughts and feel like I can put something out that I'm proud of.
Thank you all for understanding.
Please know that I appreciate every single one of you.
Until next time.
Bye.
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Bakugo Katsuki Oneshots (SLOW UPDATES)
FanfictionA book of Bakugo Katsuki Oneshots!! (It's not exclusively Bakugo, but it will mainly feature him with a few one-shots of any other character people request here and there)