Raison D'être

Settled

Anastasia

As we walked out of the complex, I asked Brent if he could stop over by the bridge. I thought of Carla and David, and I knew they would be worried about me since I didn't show up today for work.

When we arrived at the bridge, I let them know that I'll just be a minute before walking over to the same spot. The letters I left were still tucked under the light fixture. Looking over the bridge, seeing the horizon, where the cloudless sky and crashing waves part, I questioned where if things would really get better from here? Every good thing was bound to follow by something bad in my life, but how much worse can having your daughter being taken away from you get? How much worse than wanting to end your own life? Was this rock bottom? Would things really get better? I listened as the waves roared as I making my way back to the car.

Glancing over at the letters once more, I open the letter I wrote to myself,  but I don't read it. I don't think I want to feel the dark feelings I felt when writing this. I'm afraid those memories will resurface. The pain was still present, but seeing it on paper. It being tangible, I wasn't ready. A wave of exhaustion floods me as I fall asleep with my head against the window as classical music softly plays. I'm awakened by a soft knock on the window, it's Henry letting me know we arrived back at Lorenzo's estate. He opens the door for me, and I take the bag from his hand before thanking him and Brent and go straight to my room.

Laura greets me and lets me know she's tossed up a salad for lunch if I am hungry. I thank her, and she asks about my little shopping trip. "Why didn't you get more? You just have one bag."

"It was Lorenzo's money, I don't want to spend his money," that being the obvious reason.

"Honey, he has lots of money, besides I think he'll be a little angry at the fact that you just went all the way there for such a small expense," as she gives me a sad face, I can't help but be a little confused.

"Angry?"

"Well not angry, but I know Lorenzo. He won't be pleased, but don't worry he'll get over it," as she waves off.

Out of nervousness for the off chance that I might upset Lorenzo, I start to tear my lip again.

Laura then offers to take me up to my room, and I agree. We make our way down the long halls and up the small staircase before finding ourselves in the east loft. "That is your room," she points out, " I went ahead and put your uniform and fresh towels in there as well."

"Thank you."

"I figured a small size would do you good, will it fit?"

"I'll try it on now," putting down my bag and letters, I strip my clothes and slip on the uniform.

Although it was a bit loose on the waist and shoulders, I liked the length and it was snug on my hips. Walking out and showing Laura, she tsked. "So you're an extra small. I should've stuck with my gut."

"No please, this is fine. I am comfortable, besides I like the length."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes it's alright, thank you, Laura," giving her a friendly smile.

"Alright then missy, I'll at least call a tailor over."

"Okay thank you again."

"No problem. As for what you'll be doing in this house, there is not really much to do. Mr. Amoretto likes his tea in the mornings, he tends to skip breakfast, but I like to keep a muffin lying around. He always takes them. That's at five. He usually doesn't come back till late, around 12 I would say. Just make sure you've made his bed before then. And although he makes his bed, just do it again, he sloppily makes it in the morning," she smiles and I laugh. "I do the laundry and cook and clean up our chamber as well as the main. You can do the west chamber."