Raison D'être

Dinner for Three

Anastaisa

After showering I throw on a t-shirt and rush to prepare dinner. Stir-frying vegetables, I am satisfied with the aroma the salmon in the oven brings.

"Smells good," Lorenzo walks down with his hair wet and disheveled. A very good look on him.

Trying to focus on the vegetables, he peers over my shoulder, I smile because he smells good too, his distinct scent as if he belongs to the forest after morning rain. Droplets of water from his hair dampen my shoulder, and I laugh, "Lorenzo, you're making me wet."

He laughs, "sorry belissima," as he wipes my exposed shoulder. Shivers run down my body at the contact.

"Wow, that smells amazing, I can't wait to try it!" I turn over to see the beautiful woman, Andy. Her tanned skin glowing, despite being well past golden hour.

"Oh, will you be joining us, Ms. Rivera?"

She looks over at Lorenzo who looks annoyed, and Andy just smiles. "Of course, dinner with my baby."

"Oh," baby huh. I hadn't realized Lorenzo was dating someone, he never looked... happy. What do I know, I've only known the man for a month, how could I tell if he is in love or not. I don't know a thing about love. "Well, I'll just be a moment," as I step away from the salmon I pulled out, to set up the table.

As I set the table, Lorenzo walks in, "I'm sorry for not notifying you earlier, she just showed up." Agitation displays on his crafted features as he runs a hand through his hair.

"It's alright," I assure him. Lorenzo takes the forks from my hand and we set the table together in silence.

He is the first to break it, "Anastasia, look at me." I obey and look at him, his hazel eyes glint with remorse as he says "I'm sorry."

Slightly confused at why he is apologizing, I assure him once more, "for what? I told you it's okay...". He's so sincere with his apology,  but it's really no big deal. Despite the little pang of hurt, I feel that he is in fact dating someone, I don't understand why he continues to apologize.

"Then why did you only set up two plates?"

"Are you not on a date?" confusion laced in my voice.

"No-" before he can continue, Andy comes in.

"Ahh, a candlelight dinner. How cute. You did excellent-" she pauses.

"Anastasia."

"Beautiful name. Are you not eating with us sweetheart?"

"Oh no, I don't want to intrude," as I wave my hand.

"Oh please. Come besides, you made the food. Laura usually cooks for us but since you made it you can come join us," she ushers as she pulls out a chair.

"No, it's okay."

"I insist." I give in by giving her a small nod and going back to get the food.

Thinking of all the ways I could get out of dinner, I finally settled on eating fast. I don't want to bother them, so that'll work best without seeming so obvious. After serving everyone, I sit down and look around. I look over at Andy who has already taken a bite, and Lorenzo looking at me. Breaking eye contact, I take a bite of the salmon and rice after saying grace.

"This is amazing, Anastasia. I'm not usually a fan of salmon but this is delicious. What is the seasoning?"

"Garlic and herb seasoning, pepper, salt, and a little lemon with soy sauce."

"Well, I'll be sure to attempt to make it as good as yours," as she smiles showcasing her stark white teeth.

I smile back, before finishing up the vegetables. Lorenzo sees my near empty plate and puts more rice. Not wanting to argue, I give him a 'what are you doing' look while he sends me a message I can't read with his eyes. I let out a huff,  before taking more vegetables and scooping it with rice while taking a bite. I glance over at Lorenzo, who is smiling looking over at me, and then back down at his food. 

"Lorenzo, baby, you're so quiet. Are you alright?" as her arm reaches out to him.

"Just enjoying the food," his tone is clipped and comes as off as rude. Did I miss something?

"Oh alright. Well Anastasia, if you don't mind me asking how exactly did you get hired?"

Lorenzo coughs a little, before drinking his water. I take a large gulp of my water trying to think of something.

Lorenzo is the first to say, "I met her at the French restaurant I hate."

"Oh. And you just hired her?"

It's my turn to interrupt, "I changed something on the menu and he liked it. He asked what changed and I fessed up. And the rest goes on from there."

"Oh how funny. So do you still work there or here full time?"

"I work at a Diner for the morning shifts, and work here the rest of the day."

"Oh wow, you're a busy girl. Don't you want to go to college or travel? What about your family?"

The questions start to feel like an interrogation, but no fault to her. I just haven't thought out my life that far ahead. I am still working on myself, and I still have my demons to forget. I don't know why, but my attention turns to Lorenzo, and he must see me uncomfortable, because he grunts before speaking, "enough of the interrogation Andy."

"I'm just trying to get to know the girl Lorenzo. She is beautiful. And young. And has her whole life ahead of her. A maid is the last thing I would expect for a beauty like you," she smiles over at me.

I smile back, "it's okay," as the lie seeps through. I just want to curl up in my bed and sleep. "After I was admitted out of the orphanage due to my age, I depended on myself financially.  I do have hopes of saving up money to go to college, so that's in the future for me..." I admit.

"Oh, I'm sorry," pity etched in her voice, the very thing I try so hard to avoid. "You are very admirable Anastasia."

"She is," Lorenzo pitches in.

"Thank you," it comes out softly and makes me feel weak, especially with all the attention on me.

Andy gets a phone call, "oh sorry I have to take this," as she leaves, leaving Lorenzo and me. Unsure of what to say, I just finish my food in silence.

"Anastasia," Lorenzo's voice is low, and reverberates through my body. My body has the same will to give him my attention whenever he speaks. I look up to face him, and he asks "why did you lie?"

The question has me taken aback. What was this "about?"

"You weren't admitted out," his voice was so low, I could barely hear. But I heard it.

My heart dropped, "h-how did you know?"

"Anastasia, never mind that. Why did you lie to me?" he asks with a pained expression on his face.

"I didn't lie to you," as I recollect my memories. "I don't think I could lie to you, ever. Never to hurt you. I told you I left. If anything, I told you the truth. Only you," I admit. And that was the truth, I couldn't lie to him. I couldn't lie to him, and not a being in my body wanted to lie to him. So I just withheld the truth. But seeing him like this, why I am unsure, but it pains me.

"Well, why did you leave?" his voice is still low, but I can hear his hesitance as it comes out.

"Lorenzo-" this time my tone is serious. I don't want to remember all this, not with Andy around.  Not with anyone. I want to deal with my past, alone. I'm not ready. I need to fix myself by myself.

"Anastasia-."

"I can't Lorenzo. Please," it comes out in a mere whisper, but he hears because his eyes falter from mine. I feel terrible for not telling him, after all the man did save my life. But there is more to the debt to him. Something inside of me that wants to tell him everything, and for him to hug me and let me cry as he did nights ago. To make me feel less alone as he always does. As I get up to leave, Andy walks in.

"Oh, leaving already Anastasia?"

"Yes, I'm kind of tired, but it was a pleasure meeting you Andy. Goodnight." I don't bother to look at Lorenzo as I scurry off to my room.

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Photo credit: @ strangerstoloverss (Instagram)