Raison D'être

Appetence

Lorenzo

As her cries slow down, and her breathing becomes even she pulls away, to which I hesitantly relax my grip. She looks over, watching the late sunlight stream through the clouds looking as ethereal as ever. As the wind tousles her hair, I gently tuck strands behind her ear before my thumb brushes her tear stained cheeks. The evidence that she has been crying is unmistakable as her cheeks are flushed red along with the sniffling she does. She turns to face me, eyes still brimmed with tear residue I swipe them away, if only taking her pain away was as easy as wiping her tears. When I cup her cheek, she nuzzles in the warmth my hand brings, and the growing urge to say what's on my mind is at the brink of exploding. I want to tell her. I want to tell her everything there is to know about me, but the fear of losing her is so much worse. Worse than death itself. My chest feels tight and it's on the tip of my tongue, but my mind and heart become one. They put it off for another day to tell her something more important. To tell her that I get excited during the day thinking about her, seeing her, missing her. That I hate seeing her cry but find solace in being the one to wipe her tears. How her voice travels beyond my ears and stream melodies in my head. The pride I feel when knowing I was the one to make her laugh. Just the satisfaction I get when her cheeks grow a beet red at my teasing. The intimacy there is when her mind is naked before my very eyes, at its most vulnerable. It feels as if I am receiving such a rare gift, intangible but something you want to be palpable for proof it exists. The worst and best part is, she makes me feel enough despite what I have yet to tell her. That the darkest sins I have done are okay despite knowing it isn't. Like she has a paintbrush, and instead of painting over, she paints with it.

"Anastasia," she opens her rich eyes. Eyes that have the power to break and build me. She hums, affirming that she is listening.

"I-" it's on the tip of my tongue. She tilts her head in an endearing way and looks back at me with the same amount of power but unaware of my next words. "I-" she holds my wrist and smiles softly, still unaware.

"I love you."

Anticipating her next move, I watch as her eyes trail away from mine, her lips part, as she takes her bottom lip and begins to tear away. Her eyes scan the grass before us, back and forth. It is only for a moment, but it feels like eons before she finally looks up at me. My heart is pounding, even the birds flying south can hear them. She looks at me and smiles, the same smile she had in the car. One of pure bliss. Gazing at me, her hand comes up to my face. The touch foreign to both of us, but one I want more of. Clearly satisfied, she takes her other hand and traces along my features before her finger traces my bottom lip carefully. Her eyes stare, as I watch her mind internally battle her next words. Her action is one that takes me by surprise as she pulls me forward and lands a passionate kiss on mine. Taking whatever she offers, I am able to feel her emotion to know that she loves me back without having to say anything. And I am left content as I let her tongue take initiative and explore. The tingling electric shocks that ran through my body the few times we have kissed now surge through my entire being at a heightened electrical pace. The passion becomes heightened as we fill ourselves with a growing need for each other. Breaking apart, as we gather our breaths, facing anywhere but each other our eyes find our way back home. I see the same hunger in her eyes I have and at that I smirk, she blushes profusely before I pull in her for more. Taking her so that she straddles me, her legs wrap around and the close proximity makes it so much more. As she moans in the kiss, I feel a wave of heat run down towards my cock. I know she feels me harden underneath her because she leans in even closer. Nothing but the fabric of our clothes that separates us. Setting her down on her back, as I hover over her I trail kisses down her jaw finding her spot. Right where the end of her jaw and neck meet, she moans at the contact as her grip on my hair tightens. I groan at her pleasure, the sweet sound her vocals make. Until her stomach grumbles. Breaking apart, I look at her flustered, and I laugh. Pecking her lips, she smiles shyly as I get up. Offering her a hand, she rises brushing the dirt off her dress, "let's go feed your friend there."

She laughs, taking my hand as I whistle for the horses.

Letting her drive the Bentley on the way back, she had the same look on her face as we were speeding down this road. Bliss. It soothes my heart that she can feel such emotion after all that she's been through. Despite her dark past and the light smile she puts on, I will be forever proud of the strong woman she is. I will forever be proud of the one making her truly smile. But the guilt of not telling her the monster I truly am creeps in, and before it settles she laughs as the wind rustles her hair making the guilt cower away.

This is one of my favorite chapters that I have ever written. I really hope you enjoyed this ❤️

I just love his POVs :)

Thank you for reading!❤️

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Photo Credit: @lettersforsoulmates (Instagram)