Raison D'être

Hard Truths

Lorenzo

Anastasia... I could listen to her, watch her, and talk with her all day, for there is never a dull moment with her. I watch as she walks inside the Diner with a smile on her face, her cheeks dusted a rose color. I could see her like that for the rest of my life. With her, my life would be blissful and content- the way it ought to be. Brent eyes me in the rearview mirror with a smirk plastered on his face, "you know she has that same look on her face too. Smitten..."

I roll my eyes, "just drive Brent." He rolls his eyes before averting his attention to the road.

I don't bother hiding the grin at hearing she might feel the same way. Staring out the window, passing by the countless buildings I've seen many times before, my thoughts were consumed by none other than the enchantress herself. For every night she's been here, she has been on my mind. Every thought I have, every action I do, she is on my mind. I can't focus on the mafia, though I would never admit aloud, business hasn't been its best because I've lost focus- the one thing I need but lose at the sight of her.

Shipments have been stolen and though the culprits are tied to the Spanish cartel, I have my suspicions that Petrov is involved. Drugs. He's finally turned to the business every mafia has had their hands on since the whole system formed. But why?

As my phone buzzed incessantly, I see Niccolò is calling. My eyes automatically roll, as I pick up, "yes?"

"Wow. I don't have to call a million times for you to pick up. You finally must've left Anastasia alone-"

"What is the reason for your call?" Uninterested in our potential banter.

"Well, a little birdie told me that the Russians aren't exactly driven in the sex trafficking business anymore... And I know how you Italians are with your morals."

"You're Italian too."

He laughs my response off, "the thing is Lorenzo, I don't care. And you know that."

Although his moral compass is flawed, it's not broken. He won't admit to himself that he cares, that there is a shred of humanity left in him. "Is that why you told Anastasia to go for the head? To go for an instant kill," he stays silent. "You know what would happen if she deals with that guilt."

His tone is low, "you must be blind Lorenzo."

"Is there something you know that I don't?"

"I don't know anything, but even a blind man can see that she is hiding behind her smile. She isn't happy-"

"I know," it comes out so low, but I know he hears. I do know. It's visible to anybody that can see. I would do anything to make her smile, really smile, but I don't know how. This is beyond the wealth I offer, the kindness I have, the assurance I give. She is not happy because she won't allow herself to be. And all I can do is watch as her self guilt swallows her whole.

"You say you know, but neither of us knows what really goes on in her head. No one will unless it is by her wishes."

"Thank you captain obvious, but you didn't answer my question. This is not about her. It's about you. You say you don't care, you act like you don't. But once she rolled into our life, you've made her your business. When it comes to her you care." Although I don't know why. It's starting to feel like I don't know much of anything these days. My control slipping within my grasp.

"You don't?" He retorts.

"Don't mind me Niccolò, my feelings aren't of your concern."

"And mine don't concern you. I don't work for you, remember? I work for no one."

"Then why stick around?"

"Because I share a mutual interest in the Russian's whereabouts..."

"Why?"

"So many questions, yet you wouldn't even know what to do with the answers I give you."

"Enough with the games Niccolò." He senses my irritation and finally answers.

"Money. Daniel has moved on from sex trafficking, for months now. If that doesn't blare on your radar, what will? I'm going to kill him."

What? "You want to kill Daniel, head of the Russian mafia. How do you plan to do that?"

"With your blessing of course..."

"You don't work for me remember?"

"You're right, I work for myself. With the Russian mafia gone, who will be the assassin in the highest demand?"

"The Writer." He goes silent, but he knows that I knew because he continues.

"I'm impressed. Now you know why I stick with you. You know as much as I do. There will come a point where we both know nothing. And right now, Daniel has got whatever he wanted out of that business. Don't you want to know why? Why has the demand for women with newborns skyrocketed, and then dropped within months? What he wants with those children?"

"For assassins Niccolò. You don't know this by now? To have children brainwashed and made into weapons. His own army that see him as a father." Just saying it aloud leaves a bitter taste.

"That doesn't concern you?"

"Of course it does, but we have an agreement. To leave each other be."

"So you don't prepare? Instead, you have your head up your ass, or should I say Anastasia's?"

"Mind your tongue."

"Forgive me, for I meant no disrespect towards her." We both go silent for a moment before he speaks up again. "You know very well that our world is different from the world she sees. Training her is not enough. It will never be enough. Death is what this world is, Lorenzo. You know that, I know that, she knows that. I know nothing of her past. We know nothing of her past, but all we can do is help. And once we've done our part, let her go." Complete silence as he knows he's hit me where it hurts. "I'm sorry Lorenzo, but I tell you this because maybe you're right- I care." I know I'm right. I know he's right. The one thing that sticks is what has been in the back of my head the moment I let her in.

Let her go. And the mere thought makes me sick.

Thank you for reading

Holy Cow- I love u all ❤️ we had #7 in Mob! (10-30-2021)!

Don't forget to comment and vote!

Lorenzo's POV are my favorite :)

Also please note that Daniel Petrov is the head of the Petrov (Russian) Mafia- so he will usually be referred to as Daniel or Petrov
And Writer is the name Niccolò goes by, what the world sees him as. No one knows Niccolò's ties to The Writer, other than Lorenzo and few in Niccolò's past...

Photo credit: @ lettersforsoulmates (Instagram)