Wonder over Worries [K. Havertz]

35: Waves

+^* It comes and goes in waves; it always does°/~

Chapter 35: Waves

Little had any of them known that Kai's birthday would be the last really relaxing day for a very, very long time.

With the first Germany game around the corner Jogi trained his team harder and fiercer than ever, pushing them to their limits every day.

On June 14th they would leave early in the morning from their training center and take the team bus to Munich. As soon as they were to arrive in the Bavarian capital they would get the rest of the day off, Jogi wanting them to be well rested for the game.

Mesut Özil had reached out to Kai on the 12th, wishing him a good birthday and reminding him of their plan to meet up, should they be in Munich at the same time. Checking their schedule, they found out that they were, in fact and had decided to meet up the afternoon of their arrival.

Kai was beaming the whole rest of the evening at the thought of meeting his role model and it warmed Aria's heart.

Currently they were sat in the lounge room with the other players, playing card games before their departure tomorrow morning.

Aria was in the lead with five won rounds of UNO, closely followed by Thomas and Serge. The room was noisy and buzzing with people talking to each other.

Suddenly an Argument broke out between Manuel and Toni, accusing each other of cheating. The noice amount rose when more and more people got involved, just yelling at each other.

Kai warily eyed Aria, knowing that the loud noice and change of vibe, affects her. Her breathing had deepened and she had closed her eyes, trying to blur the harsh tones out.

She was calmly sitting on the sofa, but Kai could see how concentrated she was. Her forehead was scrunched up and brows furrowed.

None of the others had noticed anything, everyone still being very caught up on the argument.

No one noticed the petite female slowly standing up and leaving the room. No one but Kai, who rushed after her. He found Aria in the cafeteria, leaning against a table with a glass of water.

He sat next down next to her, not saying anything. Aria didn't look up, just staring at the floor in front of her feet. "It comes in waves." She suddenly said.

Kai looked up at her with a questioning gaze. The girl just shook her head. "My anxiety. It comes in waves. It can be pretty none existent for a few months or even a year and then for a short time period it gets worse again." She explained.

"When the panic attacks first started my doctor put me on medication that was supposed to help. After a year and a half he started limiting the pills more and more until he said I should be able to overcome anxiety attacks without medication. It had mostly worked the past years there a just shorter time periods where it gets really really bad and the smallest things trigger me."

Kai didn't know that was how it felt to struggle with anxiety. "When did this wave started?" He carefully asked.

Aria shrugged. "The hate I got on Instagram made me mentally weaker and on top of that my doctor had put me back on the medication. So when he stopped giving them too me there was an overload of hormones because they were used to being controlled by the pills. So I think when I first started feeling symptoms again was the night you saw me
almost having a panic attack back when you had your game against Madrid, the night I came back from America."

Kai frowned and hugged her from the side. The girl melted into his body, the familiarity comforting her. "You've had them since then?"

Ari shrugged. "I thought I had overcome them but the panic attack when I saw Julian made it all come crashing down. It had almost been a year without me having one."