Wonder over Worries [K. Havertz]

45: Loose my mind

*Please read the A.N. at the end*

+^* 'cause I only loose my mind when ain't got you; and how can I win, when I'm always bound to loose?¥°:

Chapter 45: Lose my mind

Cathy Hummels and Lisa Müller had decided they wanted to spend a girls day with Aria and they had whisked her away to stroll through Munich together.

Kai had been restless the whole day. Because today was the day. Today everything would be decided.

It had started raining at 6 pm and Kai was walking up and down in his hotel room, knowing that Aria would be back soon.

He looked outside and was surprised when he actually saw her, walking through the rain.

He jumped slightly when there was a knock on the door and yanked it open.

Outside stood Ari, beautiful as ever.

Kai saw the droplets of water running through her hair and over her face.

He knew he was breaking all the rules he ever made for himself. The rule that he would never fall in love. And that he would never make his happiness depend on someone else.

All of them were broken

Aria looked at him curiously, surprised by his off behavior. And looked right back at her, taking it all in in case it was the last time he would see her.

"Are you okay?" Aria asked carefully, eying him. She walked past him into the room and took off her coat.

He took a deep breath. "I love you Arianna Luisa."

She froze in motion before she turned around and smiled a little. "I love you too Kai. You know that." She said it easy and playfully and Kai knew she didn't quite understood what he had meant.

He shook his head. "No. I mean yes. I mean I love you."

Aria walked over to him and tilted her head. "Are you okay? What are you on about?" She put her hand on his cheek.

"I mean I love you like I will loose my mind when I don't have you." Her eyes widened. "I love you like I have never loved anyone in my life and feels like I can't think straight when you around and then you're the only person that keeps me sane but you are also the person who makes by brain go all funny and fuzzy. You are the reason I smile every day - scratch that- you are my smile and my heart? It beats for you."

Aria pulled her hand away like she had burned herself and took two steps away. "You love me? Like 'love' in the way of 'love'"

Her eyes were wide and in that moment Kai knew with absolute certainty that he had made a mistake but it was too late to go back.

"Aria you don't know what it feels like to fall in love with you. No you don't know what it's like when you can't go back."

Aria sat down on a stool, eyes fixed on the floor. But she was shaking her head.

"Kai... Please don't." When she looked up he saw the tears that stood in her eyes.

"No Ari. I don't want to live another day without you knowing how I really feel about you. Without you knowing that I go crazy with every single one of your touches and how I am unable to think straight when you are too close to me."

The first tear fell from Aria's eyes. "Please stop. Don't make it difficult." She begged.

Aria had deep down always known this day would come. The day when she had to make the decision between following her heart and following her head. But she thought she had more time.