Criss- Crossed Love Affair (BokuAka)

Insecurities

We embraced each other for as long as we don't know... It just feels right and perfect. Like I don't want to end this moment....

We hugged each other until his phone buzzed.

Akaashi gently let go of the hug blushing all over and grab the phone inside his pocket.

"Ahhm.. Hello, Noya..."
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"I'll try..because I am with someone.."
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"Kinda. why?."
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"For what? Something happened?"
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"Seriously?'
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"Okay.... Okay, Noya. See you"

He dropped the call.
"Nishinoya? The libero?"

"Oh. yes. Noya asked if I could drop for they have some announcement."

"Can... can.. we.. also.."

He confusedly looked at me.
"What is it Bokuto-san?" he asked

"I was just thinking... can we also announce... that we.. are..."

He got that assuring smile and a blushful cheeks, I can't move on from the fact that he loves me... Kyaaaah!

"Hey, Bokuto-san... what's that again?"

I looked away.. Wait... I remembered this place, others are talking about the Valentine surprise around here before... It's Kenma's proposal as partners.... They say it was so perfect...

I found myself seriously pathetic. How could I even think of announcing that we are dating even if I didn't put much effort in it like Kenma did.... How can I ever be match to his level?

"Bokuto-san... Hey.. Are you... alright?"
he asked as held my left cheek.

"I.. I am just fine, Kaashi...." I lied broadly.

"Are you sure? You seem distracted."

"Akaashi... I'm sorry.."

"You don't have to apologize.. For as long as you're okay-" I interrupted him.

"No.. I mean... I'm sorry for avoiding you since that day in Kuroo's house..."

I want to explain myself... I want him to know how I felt.... how I am feeling... I don't want to be reckless but.... I can't keep it inside me.... I want him to know my insecurities and everything about me...

"You... sleep- talked that night while you are sleeping in the couch.. I... am watching you, and caressing (blush) your face... and you mentioned Kenma's name.."

I looked at him and he just avoided my eyes.

"Bokuto-san... I.. I am sorry about that. He bowed his head..

NO NO NO... The perfect moment is starting to go downhill....

What should I do?!?!

"I really thought, you got mad because I slept beside you that day, that your special someone will probably-"

"My special someone?!"

"Yes. You keep mentioning that person and blushing... Saying that you would want to impress him or her." he stepped back.
"You said, you kissed me because of the spur of the moment... does that mean.... you didn't actually meant to-"

"YOU'RE WRONG AKAASHI!!!!! MY SPECIAL SOMEONE IS YOU!"

His eyes widen in surprise.
"I WANT TO IMPRESS YOU WITH MY GRADES AND EVERYTHING SO YOU'LL NOTICE ME... LIKE KENM-" oh no...

"Like Kenma?"

I looked down on my shoes...
"Bokuto-san... Let's not talk about him alright?"

Why? Does Kenma matters still to you  Akaashi?

"Do you still love him?" It slipped out without me knowing.

"Bokuto-san... I... We ended up already so you don't have to wo-"

"I AM INSECURE OKAY!!! BECAUSE.. BECAUSE I AIN'T LIKE HIM! AND I FEEL LIKE INFERIOR BECAUSE YOU LOVE HIM FIRST AND NOT ME!"

"But, Bokuto-san.. The one I love right now is you... No questions, no doubt about that.... I loved him first, true... But... (he walked closer to me) I love you more than I loved anyone else... So please... don't say things like that.." his eyes are welling up with tears now...

No.. No... Please... Don't cry... Kōtarō you idiot! I exhaled and
"I'm sorry, Akaashi... It's just that... My qualities are on the negative side so.." I calmly said.

"That's one of the reasons why I started to fall for you... The carefree, childish, and immature personality of yours make me fall so deep"

I pouted... "You know, Kaashi... Those are kinda mean descriptions..."

He smiled bigger and brighter.
"I know... I want to take care of you..."

Surely, I blushed... Take care of me... But hey I am older than he is.

"No, I'll take care of you, Kaashi..."

"No can do... We'll probably be in a lot of trouble if I let you handle everything"

"Huh?!?!"

He continued smiling at me like he had never smiled before. I love his smile, I love everything about him....

"I want my friends to know you more, Bokuto-san... Do you mind joining us tonight?"

I smiled a little, too.
"I want to spend time with you, Akaashi... and know your friends, too of course.."