Jalo estate.

18

Deep breath!

Breathe in,breath out.

Standing in-front of the big brown oak door, I let my hands hang in the air contemplating weather I should knock or not.

Why am I even here? Well because I want to see Maina,it is has been two days since I saw him and I also want to know weather he is pushing through with my dare.

Their is much more of Maina which I don't know, I want to know.But then,their is this sudden urge which I have to just make him feel better,make him a better person even without knowing anything about him.

The door flew open and I quickly turn around with eyes bulging trying to hide myself.I slowly turned around and came face to face with him.He was dressed in casual ash sweatpants then a lighter ash t-shirt.

I smiled his way "The view from your veranda seems appealing." I flatly lied turning to look at the terrace before looking at him again "You have been here for quite a while,correct?" He muttered tiredly as he shift and asked me to come in using his hand.

I walked inside shaking my head as NO.His apartment is just like ours just that his own is more beautifully furnished.

He trailed behind me "I wanted to actually have a talk with you." He stated tiredly as he sat down adjacent to the chair I sat.

He went in to get me refreshment and my eyes wander to the big sketch book on his center table.

Maina draw? Isn't he just way too amazing and talented for this world? Haha!

"So you like sketching?" I questioned as he kept a can of monster in front of me,he nod his head sitting down while I reach for the book.

He lounged forward and snatched it away from my grasp "It is my personal book."

It is just silly sketches .More over he doesn't seem like someone into art stuffs like sketching.

Okay, I forgot that he is an architect.

Shrugging off my shoulder, I let it slide "You don't look like the drawing type."

He nod his head giving me a lopsided smile "I sketch when I am trying to make a decision.It makes me more focused on what to choose."

Wow! Maina is really alone literally since he draws to make a decision,instead of just asking for someone's advice.It is either he doesn't have friends or he doesn't trust anyone.

"Nice,which decision are you making now that you are sketching?" I questioned and he narrow his eyes at me "You are one heck of a curious person, Mariam."

"It is bad for the health." He finished looking at me making me chuckle "It is a good thing." I replied and he shook his head.

"I will take as a blessing and a curse all together."

Laughing it off, I went straight to the point that bought me to his door "About my dare,how is it going?" I questioned clasping my hands and shutting my lips,he shook his head anxiously "I couldn't do it." He replied and a pang of disappointment went through me.

"Oh." I replied.

He sigh loudly putting his head in his palms "I tried,but I couldn't."

Silence prevailed the room, I carried my phone and entered instagram,scrolling my feed I kept seeing the same topic which made throw the phone in exasperation.

"This suicide topic is getting on my nerves! How can a person think of killing himself? Like,it is totally stupid no matter how messed up life has become for that person." A big blown topic have been going around social media since early morning today,it is about a man who tried killing himself because he doesn't have money to pay for his daughter's school fees.

"What do you think about suicide,Maina?" I know he finds it totally unreasonable too.I noticed that Maina was silent and I look up at him.

He seemed to be sweating and shaking at the same time "I will go to the kitchen and prepare something for you." He mumbled standing up hurriedly and running to the kitchen.He didn't even wait for my reply, I am not even hungry.

I shrugged my shoulders and let my eyes dart around the parlor,his cushions are brown in color with a lighter brown carpet and center table.Maina seems to have love for brown,

I suddenly heard sobs and I immediately stood up and run to the kitchen.The sight in front of me confused me to the core.

Maina was sitting on the floor crying as his whole body shake,he kept shaking his head as trickles of sweat cascade down from his forehead.

"Maina?" My heart started beating so fast as I walked to him.

What is wrong with him?

"What is wrong?" I questioned and he just kept crying seeming terrified.

He tried saying something but he couldn't "Anxiety pills." He mumbled lowly and I thank my sharp ears if not I won't have heard him.

Maina takes anxiety pills?

"Where do you keep them?" He point at one of the cupboard and I ran to carry it.I spilled many of them in my hand then got water for him.

I walked to him and hand it to him,he only took two pills and gulped them down.Tears rolled out of my eyes as I stare at him.

I don't like seeing him like this.I like his lopsided smile better on him.

His breath started leveling up and we both sit there for like 5 minutes.Tears kept rolling out of my eyes as I kept wiping them away.

Maina had a panic attack,he seems to be traumatic and I know what caused this,it was the suicide topic.

Looking at Maina like this breaks my heart,he kept breathing in and out as tears continued to roll out of his eyes.He had a frown on his face and he looked terribly anxious as if he was remembering something.

"Mariam." He cried out and my eyes shot up to him "Leave."

I shook my head stubbornly wiping my tears "I promise to not talk about it,Maina.I am not even curious anymore,just be fine."

I sobbed letting out my croaked voice say my words and he smiled a little "I am fine,Mariam."

"You are not," I replied shaking my head,my heart was clenching and unclenching.

He blanked out and stared into space as he let out a dry chuckle "I once tried committing suicide too, Mariam."

To say my heart shattered into pieces will be an understatement.I knew that Maina was done talking from there and I don't even want him to continue.I am not some sort of a novel princess who will know the guy's problem and then help him move on.

Maina have to do it by himself,when he starts willing to.