"What we have to lose"

65

I came back from my appointment, silent. I know Daniel will be devastated if he knows so I won't tell him. I hope I can hide it as long as possible. I walked into the apartment, sat on the couch and stared into the unknown. Is it my fault that it got worse? Will I survive this time? What's with my family and Daniel if I don't...? I wasn't able to fulfill the last thought because someone ripped me out of my mind. "Amilia you scared the freaking hell out of me, is everything alright?" Daniel asks. I only realized him now, sitting right in front of me with such a frightened look in his eyes. "I'm sorry, I was in my thoughts." I replied. "You sure? How was the doctors appointment?" he asks concerned. "Fine, everything is perfectly fine." I quickly answer and stood up from the couch, I tried to escape his look because it makes me weak. "Amilia please don't lie to me again about your health, I can deal with it and I want to help you in case you need help." Daniel reassured and I nodded. "Thank you." I replied. It was short, but came from my heart. It wasn't a normal thank you. I hugged him and he seemed to be ok.
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I managed to convince Max as well that I'm fine and we are now on our way to Bahrain. Max, Daniel, Charlotte, Charles and I share a flight there. I always loved Bahrain because it's one of the night races. It's so special to see a race in the dark. That's why I'm looking forward to this race especially. We arrived in Bahrain and the weather was great as expected. We unpacked all of our stuff and Charlotte and I went out for dinner since the boys had to go to the track already.
We sat down in the hotels restaurant and ordered some food. "Do you also want to have champagne?" Charlotte asks but I kindly denied. I explained to her that I'm not allowed to drink and she felt immediately sorry for not knowing. I reassured that's it's alright.
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"Do you mind if I ask you something?" Charlotte asks during our dinner. "No, go ahead." I answered and was pretty sure that I know what she's about to ask. "I know you had your appointment yesterday, is everything fine?" she asks. "Yes, everything is Fine." I answered and continued eating. Charlotte on the other hand looked like she doesn't believe me. "I'm not to sure if that's true, I know you told Daniel this because you don't want to hurt him. You can tell me and I won't tell him but I think you need someone to talk to." she responded and I literally choked on my food. Wow, she knows me very well. I decided to tell her that the doctor told me it got worse and that I have to start another therapy. I'm actually relived that I can tell her. She had a scared look in her eyes and told me she's worried. "I know you do to this for Daniel and I respect that very much but you have to think about yourself. I'll be there for you since you haven't even told Max. But if I think it's getting too bad, please promise me that we tell them." she said and all I wanted to do was hug her. She held out her hand and lifted her pinky. I lifted my head as well and I gave her my pinky promise.
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I woke up the next day and felt good. It was unexpected but I liked it. I decided to text Max that i can do his sessions this weekend as his physical therapist. He texted me back immediately which was surprising because he usually sleeps around this time. He was happy to hear it and looking forward to do a run around the track later. I had to tease him a little and texted him:
Amilia:
I thought you don't
Do track walks?

                                                 Max:
                                                Haha got me, but
                                                It's only for my health
                                               Not because I need to
                                               See the track, I'm
                                              Talented enough
                                              To drive without
                                              Seeing the track.
Amilia:
Ok mr perfect
Let's see who will
Cry then tomorrow
After I massaged you.

He send back some laughing emojis and I got ready for the track walk with Daniel. I decided to put on my sports outfit already because of the run with Max. Daniel and I stepped into the van that drives us to the circuit. There were some others driving with us to the track.
Arriving at the circuit, we stepped out of the car. We entered the paddock when I heard someone yell my name. I looked to the right to see Lando, happily waving at me. Before I thought about Daniel's reaction i waved back to him and walked towards him. I hugged him tightly and Jon next to him as well. To my surprise Daniel was all calm when he arrived next to me. He greeted them friendly as well.
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At some point we ended the conversation and walked to the Renault hospitality. "I'm so proud of you." I said to Daniel giving him a kiss. "Because I behaved well?" he asks grinning. I nodded with a smile when Daniel pulled me closer. "I just know what's mine, I don't have to worry." he whispered in my ear. I was a little shocked but had no time to react because we were already greeted by Nico and Cyril.
We arrived back in the paddock after the track walk and I saw Max arriving. I said goodbye to Daniel and walked into the Red Bull's drivers home with Max. I was pretty excited to be back. This is still my job and I'm so glad that Christian offered me that I can work whenever I feel like it. I went through our schedule for the weekend and Max got ready for our run.
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