Is This What A Family Is? (FTM TOMMY)

-Chapter 3:Nightmares-

(Cw/Tw: panic attacks, cussing, self harm, eating disorder, mention of starvation, alcoholism, and vomit)

-Tommy POV-

"SHUT UP YOU BITCH! YOU WILL ALWAYS BE A STUPID FUCKING GIRL WEATHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT! YOU FUCKING PRICK OF A CHILD!" The woman once known as a motherly figure had shouted at me. In her hand was a broken wine bottle she had just smashed on the counter. The house always reeked of alcohol. I felt warm tears stream out of my eyes as she began to yell more at me about how I was useless and not worthy of her time. In her eyes I was a stupid little girl who knew nothing of what to be as a "woman" in this cruel world. "I AM DONE WITH YOUR FUCKING SHIT! GET THE FUCK TO YOUR ROOM YOU WANKER!"She screamed at me. I scrambled to my feet getting up up off the floor as quick as could and booked it to my room. I hadn't eaten that night for dinner nor did i eat lunch or breakfast but I had none of that to worry about at this moment.

Warm tears were still streaming down my face as I searched through my drawers to find one of my razor blades. I had found one completely unstained. Looked almost brand new only to look awful within seconds. I gripped the blade tightly and began to make some small slits on my wrists, some deep and others not as deep. The stinging, sensational pain to calm the voices in my head. Yet I was still crying. Not sobbing, crying. I couldn't sob. Wouldn't sob. It would get me in so much trouble if she knew. Once i was domes cutting my arms I threw the blade somewhere across the room and huddled over to the corner not bothering to bandage my arms as I had begun to process what the fuck I had just done to myself. I looked down at my bleeding arms and started to shake. I fucking messed up. I started to have a full on panic attack. I was crying and shaking violently. I felt nauseous but didn't through up. My hands slid up to my unwashed blonde hair as I gripped a couple of chunks tightly. I began to rock back and forth mumbling to myself different horrors that were most likely soon to come.

I woke up in a cold sweat after that dream. My hand shakily made its way to my face only to feel the tears that were there. I put my hand down and pulled up my sleeves to check my arms. I looked down and saw the faint marks of old scars some from me other not. I mentally sighed but was still crying and nervous. I rushed out of my room and into Techno's. "Tommy?"I heard Techno mumble in a voice that I didn't know could go deeper when tired. I choked out a sob as I waffled over to his bed nearly collapsing. Tech jumped out of bed and fought me before I could hurt myself. I wrapped my arms around his neck as I cried and sobbed into his chest. The only thing heard other than my sobs where the silent sayings Techno was whispering to me along with ever so quiet hushing coming from the monotoned voice of the pinkett I had learned to trust and call my brother.

I had calmed down after about twenty minutes of Techno telling small encouragements along with rocking the two of us side my side. "You wanna explain to me why you came into my room crying just twenty minutes ago?" Techno had questioned. I nodded my head slowly and explained to him the dream I had as tears began to stream down my face again. "Hey hey it's ok Toms no one will hurt you now ok? I love you little brother."He said to me. He took his rough hands and placed the against my face whipping away any of the tears left from my explanation. He walked up over to his bed and sat me down on it. He pulled out the book about Theseus and began to read it as I curled up on his chest. My eyes began to slowly droop as the calming sound of his deep monotone voice and soft patter of the wind outside the window set me straight off to sleep. This time I was to dream well and not bad knowing that I had the safety of my eldest brother by my side, and with him there nothing could go wrong.

~Time skip to the morning/hours later~

~Still Tommy POV~

I woke up what I could assume was about nine hours later to the sound of Phil and Wilbur swing at the sight in front of them. I had almost forgotten of the traumatic moment hours ago but remembered quickly. I nuzzled my head closer to Techno's side never wanting to leave. I felt Techno wake up and brush through my hair with his hand. I smiled lightly. I soon felt a warm breath come to contact with my ear. "Go change you pad Toms" I heard Techno whisper. I felt my face heat up from embarrassment but nodded my head. Phil and will where still in the door frame looking utterly confused at what my brother had just told me. Techno handed me a Jodie of his as he had gotten up. I put the soft fabric over my head and slowly got up, only to rush out the door to go to the bathroom.

Once I was good to go I went back to my room to quickly though on my binder as well as some sweatpants. I put back on Techno's sweater and headed back into his room. He was fully dressed in his casual royal attire and sitting on his bed with his hair completely down, no braids or ponytail in site. I sat down behind him as he handed me a hair tie and ribbon. I lightly laughed and began to braid his hair as he picked up the book yet again picking up where we had left off before I had fallen asleep. Once I was down with the
braid I tied the ribbon over the hair tie as to cover it up and made my way to sitting next to my brother leaning my head onto his shoulder.