Is This What A Family Is? (FTM TOMMY)

-Chapter 7: Relapse?-

Cw/Tw: Eating Disorder, mention of past self harm, mention of finding a razor blade, self harm, bullying

~Tommy POV~

The day had come. Time for me to go back to school. Phil said that I was able to go to school with Tubbo and Ranboo. I had to get up early and get ready so that is what I did. I picked out my khaki jeans and red sweater and white shirt on top. I headed downstairs to hopefully get some breakfast into my stomach before leavening for school.

"Morning Toms!" Phil shouted as I walked down the stairs. I waved lightly to him and made my way over to the kitchen island for some food before heading to school.

As per usual my portion of food was less than everyone else's but I had managed to push through the whole meal without feeling sick! I soon headed back to my room packing any last minute thing I would need for school in my bag.

I rushed back down the stairs putting on my shoes and grabbing my lunch from Phil as me, Tech, and Wil started to head on our walk to the school. The walk was decently short and we had gotten to school with a bunch of laughing and cracking jokes.

Techno turned to me with a serious look. "If anyone hurts you in any way, come to me or Wilbur got that? We have the same lunch so we will walk you to class and then see you at lunch ok?" He said somewhat sternly. I nodded my head. We went to our lockers and put the stuff away that we didn't need and grabbed things we did need.

Before I knew it we where heading down to the office to grab my schedule. Techno opened the door and both me and Wilbur walked in. "We are here to pick up Tommy's schedule." Techno said.

The office lady nodded her head and handed us my schedule. She explained to me how the schedules worked and handed all of us late passes so my brothers could show me around the school.

When the tour was done we stopped at my home room door. Techno kissed the top of my head lightly, shocking both me and Wilbur in the process. "Stay safe ok?" He said. I nodded my head, hugged the two of them and stepped into my classroom.

"Ah welcome! Class this is our new student." The teacher said. "Why don't you go to that seat in the back, I'm Mrs. Walker by the way."She said. I nodded my head and went to the back.

The only open seat was in between Ranboo and Tubbo! YES! I sat down rather exitedly and started to pay attention to the lesson.

After our first class Tubbo, Ranboo, and I headed over to our first special of the day. Gym. 

Luckily for me I was able to sit out on the bleachers because Phil put in a "medical excuse" thing with the nurse. Truth of it is that I can't actually do much exercise in my binder so it's safe to just sit out.

"Why does that kid get to sit out!" Some bratty kid yelled. I rolled my eyes. "He has a medical pass." They gym teacher said. The kid looked honestly pissed that they couldn't come and sit out.

The rest of gym was fine until I was in the locker room with Tubbo and Ranboo. "Hey kid." I heard a voice behind me say. I turned around to look at the other kids face. He had dark brown almost black hair. Beside him seemed to be two of his friends. "Yes?"I responded. His face changed looking sort of disgusted. "Why the fuck is your voice so girly, you know the girls locker room is on the other side of the gym right?" He said. "He is a boy."Said Ranboo sternly.

The kid looked back to me. "Oh is he~ why don't you prove that you are a boy." The kid said. "Take your shirt off."He added. I stood there shocked. "What the fuck NO?!" I yelled back. What the fuck does this kid think I am some pure idiot? What the fuck.

I went to turn back to Ranboo and Tubbo but he grabbed my shirt. "I said take your shirt off you pussy." The kid said again. "NO GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!"I yelled. "Jace maybe we should teach him how to obey the orders." A kid behind him said. "Absolutely"Jace replied with a smirk. 

"LET HIM GO!" Tubbo yelled. I heard a smack. I looked over to see Tubbo with teary eyes and Ranboo holding him. "HEY! Who said you could touch my friends!"I spoke. I soon felt a fist to my face. A couple of kicks and punches to me later I was sat in the locker room with Ranboo and Tubbo trying to calm me down. Tubbo brought me to the toilets that where in the locker room as Ranboo held my hair back. I coughed up a bit of blood from all of the punched and kicks to my stomach.

"Come on we are going to the nurse." Tubbo said. Ranboo ended up carrying me to the nurse while Tubbo walked beside us. As soon as we got there the nurse asked what happened. Wait a second that voice. PUFFY IS THE NURSE? "Bullies again."Tubbo said. Puffy nodded her head and bandaged up me and Tubbo. "Im guessing you won't want me to tell Phil so I won't alright buddy?"She said softly. I nodded my head and she gave all of us late passes for our next class.

All of us had history next so we headed there and managed to get through a boring class before heading to our lockers to get out lunches and head there. 

We headed in through the doors of the lunchroom. I saw Technos pink hair through the crowd of people. I ran over to him. Once I had gotten to him I hugged him tightly. "Tommy?"His monotone voice replied. I just nodded my head. "What happened to you, why are you all wrapped up in bandages?!"Techno asked worriedly. "N-nothing don't worry about it I just fell." I said lowly. Techno nodded though still looking unsure as we sat down at the table.

Everyone else had started eating while I had just sat there playing with my food. "One bite please?" Tubbo said rubbing my back. I nodded my head and took a bite. I looked over to Ranboo who smiled softly at me. I smiled back weekly and went back to playing with my food. Moments later the bell rang sending us off to our last classes of the day.

-Time skip- (MAJOR SELF HARM TW FOR THIS NEXT BIT SKIP IF YOU WANT TO!)

Once we had gotten home I ran straight to my room. I started looking all over for my razor blades. I found one in my desk.

I sat contemplating for a bit before rolling up my sleeves. Tears pricked the corners of my eyes as I started to slide the blade against my arm.

Blood started to trickle out from the small slits being made in my arm. Some slits going not to deep others going deeper. I was careful not to sob but the pain inside and tear flowing down my face were definitely there.

When i had finished my first arm i moved the blade over to the second one and began to do to the same thing by making small slits, some deep some not so deep, across that arm. When I was done i sat the blade on my desk.

I looked down at my arms. "Sh-shit" I mumbled through tears. I started to sniffle before falling to the floor and sobbing. I heard heavy steps towards my bedroom door as I sobbed harder and harder.

I ruined it. I was clean fro so long but the slightest thing had just sent me crashing back into the unhealthy coping mechanism. I gripped my hair in fists and began to rock back and fourth as the person outside struggled to open my locked door.

Once I heard the door open the loud sobs started up again. I was shaking ever so violently. I couldn't see a single thing at all through the amount of tears spilling out of my eyes.

I looked up to see pink hair and a disappointed face. He pulled my into a hug and started to whisper soft nothings to me as I calmed down.

When I had calmed the throbbing pain in both my arms and my throat had started to show. "Techno..I'm sorry.."I mumbled out. He shook his head and picked my up.

I burred my face into his shoulder as he took me to the bathroom. He cleaned and wrapped my cuts for me and then took me to his room. "Toms I want you to tell me what caused that. Can you do that for me?"He asked. I nodded my head and began to explain the whole bullying situation to him.

Once J looked up to his face i noticed how expression had changed he went from extremely worried to a soft and understanding look. He still did look mad under those stone, cold, emotionless eyes, but i could tell that it wasn't so much at me.

He let my hair and walked over to the bookshelf. "Alright Theseus, wanna read a new story?" Techno asked. I nodded my head somewhat exitedly.

He had pulled out a book on the Greek goddess Aphrodite. He began to read the book softly as I cuddled to him never wanting to leave the comforting touch of my older brother again.