Is This What A Family Is? (FTM TOMMY)

-Chapter 6:Past Talk and Big Brother Time-

Cw/Tw: Eating disorder, mention of past starving, mention of sexual assault/abuse  panic attack, mention of past abuse, alcoholism,  talk of past bullying, talk of past self harming, food, if any others let me know

~Tommy POV~

It had been two weeks from the day that I reunited with my best friends. Phil told me that for now up until after thanksgiving I would be able to be homeschooled. That worked out in my favor but I guess he also didn't want to put to much pressure on me at once with meeting all of the family friends.  Today was one of those days where dysphoria took over the best of me and made me mostly non-verbal. A while back at the orphanage Ranboo taught me and Tubbo sign language in case we ever needed to say something important around the adults or if one of us got too stressed out or overwhelmed making us non talkative.

I headed downstairs for breakfast to see everyone at the table. Phil smiled lightly as I walked in and sat with my older brothers. "Morning Toms'!" Phil said cheerfully. I smiled and waved. Phil put down thee bowls of cereal on the table as well as spoons. "Three full spoonful's" Techno said to me. I nodded my head. I ate two spoonful's. Techno looked down to me. "Half one?" He asked. I picked up the spoon and got a half of a spoonful. As soon as it reached my lips I felt sick. I looked at Techno with teary eyes. I felt like such a wimp. I couldn't eat a fucking bit of food without fucking things up. Techno looked back to me with soft eyes. I leaned my head into his chest and silently cried.

I could feel Wil and Phil looking over at us but ignored it. Techno wrapped his firm arms around me. "Shhhhh...It's ok.." Techno whispered. "Hey Toms may we know what Tech has been telling you before meals?" Wilbur asks. I nod my head. "Tommy has an eating disorder and I have been telling him to try and eat a certain amount of bites and if he doesn't do it that is ok." Techno started, both Phil and Wilbur nodding along. "Whenever you send him off to the bathroom after a meal I stand outside the door to make sure that he isn't going to puke up his food. "Techno added.

I calmed down a bit and just sat in Techno's arms. After a mildly quiet and awkward breakfast, me, Techno, and Wilbur headed upstairs and into my room. We all sat on the floor. "Hey Tommy, Why aren't you talking?" Techno questioned. Oh right. 'Not really feeling talkative today' I signed. He nodded his head. 'Dysphoria?' Techno signed back. I nodded my head. For almost three hours all of us sat in silence watching a movie until I felt better. "Can I trust you guys if I tell you about my past?.." I asked clearly shocking both. I laughed lightly. "You can always trust us Toms, no matter what." Wilbur said. Techno nodding along.

"Well.. all through out my past homes any time I was sent out to schools I was bullied shitless and called a girl not a boy. I was being borderline made fun of and any time I made friends as soon as I told them about my sexuality or gender they would just walk away from me and pretend that they never knew of me or that they were never actually friends with me. Even some going as far to say that they were nice to me out of pity or because it was forced upon them. In most of the homes they where acholic and would abuse me to the point of me self harming by cutting slits in my wrists, thighs, or lower stomach. Most of the scars I have on my wrist are not just from me, while some of them are from past self harm seven months ago others are from the abusive caretakes throwing wine or beer bottles at me or just forcefully cutting my wrists. Mrs. Katz never really cared much about it but when I would come back covered in blood and bruises she would make sure to patch me back up only to see me a few weeks later with more bruises and cuts. Whenever the homes would introduce me to there family they would have me act like nothing fucking bad happened and then as soon as everyone left the would beat the living shit out of me saying that I did absolutely every fucking think in the book wrong when I did nothing. One home even went as far to sexually abuse me..."I mumbled the last part quietly as warm tears streamed down my face. Techno looked shocked yet had the look of pure 'I'm about to comet a murder', while Wilbur looked shocked and almost sick to his stomach.

"Tommy if anything else remotely close to this happens when you enter school come to me, and Wil." Techno said sternly. I nodded my head and went over to him. I hugged Techno and sobbed into his chest. Wilbur wrapped his arms around us and we all sat there for a bit while we all calmed down. We put on more movies and spent the rest of the day with all three of us cuddled in my room only going down when Phil called us down for dinner. At the end of the day I ended up going to bed in Techno's room as he read to me the book I 'stole' from him.