Forbidden

Alex

Was it really okay? Smart was suffering. He had lost so much weight especially after his mom's visit.
He rarely ate and depended on drugs for sleep. He didn't talk or laugh much and no matter how I tried to convince myself I knew we would never be left alone as far as my Father is still alive.

I had to do this. He still had a chance at finding someone who deserves him.
Someone who can make him happy without risk.

"What are you doing?Are we going to somewhere? What's that bag? I told you I'm content with staying here with you"Smart walked into the bedroom hugging me.

He felt fragile in my arms.
" I'm moving back to my parent's house"I smiled.

" What do you mean? "His smile fell off.
" Let's be honest with ourselves, You deserve to be happy, you feel guilty that your family is going through a lot just because of you and .. I don't want us to live in fear that something might happen tomorrow "I  said.

" So you'll move back and marry Lady to make my family and I happy? You'll subject yourself to a life of torture for me? Am I supposed to be happy that you're doing this? "He sat down.

" You deserve someone better than me,I can't let you live with guilt and fear"I picked up my bags.

" And you know everything that goes inside my head right?I'm not stopping you...go live the perfect life...Have a nice life"He waved.

It took me all the Will power I had to walk out of the house and enter the cab.

The tears just wouldn't stop flowing no matter how much I convinced myself that I was doing the best thing.

My mom was surprised to see me.

"Leave Smart and His family alone..Fix the wedding" I said

"Are you stupid?are you really giving in to a life of unhappiness forever?" Sarah asked.

"Sarah" mom called in warning.

"I can't believe this,I guess no matter what..you're still a coward like the rest of us"Sarah walked out pushing me aside.

" You made the right decision .I'm proud of you"Mom smiled trying to hug me.
I pushed her away and went upstairs to my room.

It felt strange in here,like I was a stranger.

I avoided my parents like a plague,Eating out and I couldn't even Concentrate at work.

I went for photoshoots with Lady and buying wedding rings.I was like a robot.

No feelings,Fake smiles and crying myself to sleep every night.
When I felt it was too much,I tried to kill myself but Simon found me which made my mom install CCTV in my room and made sure I wasn't alone.

I started blaming Lady, Blossom, my parents, Smart.
I blamed everyone and started hating everything,developing drinking habits and was found on the street.

It felt like years but it was only a week.
A week and my life was ruined.How was I supposed to live a lifetime without him.