Literature, lust and love - Professor Romanoff

SIXTEEN

Against my will, I felt myself yearning to find another note, to feel the anticipation before reading the words that were just for my viewing. I spent the walk back to my dorm on Tuesday and Wednesday night hoping to see an envelope on my doorstep, but I was met with disappointment when I turned around the corner. I had to kick myself for relying on the rush I felt when I saw that cream colour, and it made me question my loyalty to Natasha. Why was I so fixated on these notes when I had the woman of my dreams in my reach?

"It's nice to know someone likes you, Desi. That's all." Emily told me this when I brought my queries up to her and Alex on Thursday, as we ate our lunch together in one of the many cafes on campus.

"If Natasha said not to worry about it, I would listen to her," Alex added, and as I looked between my two best friends, I decided to put it all to rest. The notes could not replicate the feelings Natasha gave me both emotionally and physically, but I couldn't help but recognise the familiarity of the two when I read the notes. Even still, dwelling on words would get me nowhere in life, but Natasha's love would.

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"How do you feel about a small test next week, just to see how you've done this semester? We could do it, maybe Tuesday, so that I can mark it before our last lesson on Friday." Natasha sat her pen down on her notebook as she looked across from me over her desk.

"That sounds good." Russian had proved to be very difficult, but with Natasha's help, I felt like I was getting to grips with the language.

"Don't tell anyone, but there will a pop quiz next week, so that'll give me the time to mark it. I know you'll ace that as well, mind you." I watched as she reorganised her notes and packed them all away so neatly. I admired Natasha's work ethic, it was so methodical but she had a passion that made her exciting to listen to when she taught. She had a way of connecting with the material and transferring that to anyone who would listen.

"I promise not to do too well, else people might think you're giving me preferential treatment," I tease, watching Natasha's eyebrow raise as she bit her lip.

"Miss Dunn, I was serious when I first told you you were going to be my best student, and I don't want you to prove me wrong. You have a real gift, Desi, use it." I simply blushed under her scold, a blush that caught Natasha's attention, making her smile. "Have you got everything ready for the masquerade ball tomorrow?"

I nodded, Emily and I had been shopping a few weeks back. The dress I had chosen was a long black slip dress that had gold threads running through it, and my mask covered my eyes but left me room to accentuate my lips.

"I'm sorry I won't be able to see you in all the glory." Her voice was filled with regret. Her final teacher's meeting was scheduled for the same time as the ball, something the dean probably did to get him out of attending, which then affected all of the teaching staff. But it was probably safer, I don't think I would be able to handle myself in Natasha's presence, it would be too risky.

I got out of my seat and walked over to her slowly, before straddling her on her chair. Her hands instantly found my back as I looked down at her. "How about this; they can all be the first to see me in my dress, but you can be the last."

Her eyes flitted between mine and my lips, before replying seductively, "I like your thinking, Miss Dunn. It would be my greatest honor to do so." Her hands on my back pulled me towards her and my lips latched onto hers, finding a rhythm quickly as her hands rubbed my sides.

"I adore you, Desi," Natasha sighed between kisses, and instead of replying, I kissed her again. She knew what I was saying by the way my lips danced with hers.

My breath hitched as I walked to my door from Natasha's office, there was another note. Possibly too quickly I ran to it and sank to the floor, ripping open the envelope. This time the card was black and had gold writing.

It has made me better loving you ... it has made me wiser, and easier, and brighter. I used to want a great many things before, and to be angry that I did not have them. Theoretically, I was satisfied. I flattered myself that I had limited my wants. But I was subject to irritation; I used to have morbid sterile hateful fits of hunger, of desire. Now I really am satisfied, because I can't think of anything better.

My dear Desdemona, I have to see you. Meet me in the magical forest at 10:00 pm at the masquerade ball. Tell no one of this meeting until we see each other, then, everything will be alright.

I stared at it. The writer wanted to meet me, tomorrow. There was part of me that wanted to run to Natasha and ask her opinion, but I questioned the point of it. If I were to meet the person I could set them straight and sort it all out. And the note did tell me not to tell anyone about it, and I was one to follow orders. Footsteps brought me to the attention that I was not alone, and I looked up from my sitting position to see my lab partner, James, striding through the hallway.

"James! Did you happen to see who put this note outside my door?"

He quickly looked down at me but continued his walk, calling behind him, "Sorry Desi, but I have to go." He ran around the corner and a few seconds later I heard the main door to the building slam shut.

"How weird," I said to myself, feeling my brows furrow.

Taking myself inside my room, I set the card on my desk, along with the others, and got ready for the evening. I texted Emily to confirm the details for tomorrow and soon found myself drifting in unconsciousness.

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"Just one last finishing touch and," Emily spritzed my curls with hairspray, "we're done!" I stood up out of my chair and walked over to the mirror. I looked beautiful, honestly. Emily had done a superb job with my hair, it was styled into soft curls, and my makeup was both glowy and alluring. My dress hugged my body in all the right places, and as I fastened my mask on, I felt like a princess. I turned, meeting Emily's excited smile, and I had to take a second to appreciate her beauty. Her pink poofy dress was absolutely stunning, and her brown hair was taken back in a ponytail and wore little star clips in the front. Together, we were quite the pair. After taking too many photos of each other, we clutched each other's arms and made the start on our trek to the gymnasium.

We entered, after handing our tickets over, and I felt overwhelmed by trying to look at everything. The theme was a Christmas fairytale, so everything was so magical looking and captivated my attention for a few minutes. My eyes trailed around the room, taking in the many mushroom and toadstool decorations, the Christmas trees covered in fake snow, the abundance of lights and then the smiling face of Alex. He was walking up to me and Emily, in a very dashing suit and matching mask, but I could recognise his grin anywhere. So could Emily, apparently, who squeezed my arm in excitement when she saw him making his way over. I chuckled, seeing the two unite, and left them to mingle together. Alex, one late night, had confessed that he had feelings for Emily, and I had a feeling, confirmed after seeing her reaction towards him, that she feels the same way. If anyone was good enough for Emily, it was Alex.

I danced and chatted with some of my friends for the first few hours before I noticed the time and realised that the meeting was fast approaching. I snuck over to the drinks bar and down the nearest drink I could reach, before straightening myself out and preparing myself for what was to come.