Literature, lust and love - Professor Romanoff

TWENTY-ONE

The gentle feeling you only get when you're 40000 feet above the ground soothed me as I watched the clouds below me. The sun bounced off of them, almost like a child playing on a bed in the morning when its parents are trying to sleep. Part of me loves the look of clouds, the other part finds them uncomfortable to look at, almost wanting to scratch them out of the sky like a scab. The rustle of Alex sorting through his bag brought me back to the attention of the plane, and I watched with a small smile as he happily pulled out an elephant neck pillow that was soon going to replace me as his best friend for the next 6 hours. He wrapped it around his neck, leaned back, plugged his earphones in and then officially closed himself off to the world. I wish I could the same, but the memory of my goodbye with Natasha was replaying in my mind like a cassette.

She sighed softly as the car shuddered to a stop. Alex quickly jumped out of the back and started unloading our bags as I turned to meet my favourite eyes in the world. They regarded me softly with a sad gaze and I felt my hand reach out and touch her cheek.

"Come," she whispered and turned to open her door. I shut my eyes, willing for the doors to stay locked, forcing us to stay together whilst my flight took off without me. I wanted fate to step in and make me spend more time with her. When I next opened them, Natasha was no longer in the car with me, but waiting for me on the sidewalk. Alex walked up to her and spoke to her briefly, and she flashed him a smile before he nodded to me, telling me he would be inside, checking in. I felt my feet hit the tarmac of the road and my feet led me towards the redhead before my head had time to tell me to stop. I stopped a foot in front of her, frowning slightly as I tried to memorise everything about her. I took in again the proud way she stood, the guarded way she always crossed her arms in front of her, the way she shook her head so that her beautiful hair would fall behind her shoulders, exposing her neck. I watched as her lip quirked up in the corner, and looked into her green eyes that pulled me towards her. I remembered the feelings of her lips, oh god her lips. They moved softly against mine and she held me on the side of the busy airport, where so many people were saying hello and goodbye. I took note of how her hands traced my body whilst her lips were on mine as if she was mapping me and claiming every spot as hers. I never forgot how she would lean against my forehead as she took a breath after sending me to heaven, how we would just stay silent and together.

"I love you, Desi." Here it goes.

"I love you so much, angel," she continued.

I squeezed my eyes shut as if I were Dorothy with my wish from the wizard. There's no place like home, there's no place like home.

"There's no place like home," I whispered and I felt Natasha lean back to regard me.

I opened my eyes and saw her amused expression that slowly morphed into confusion as she took in my words.

"I know, Desi, but I'll miss you so much." She sounded pained. That's not what I wanted.

"I'm wishing to stay with you Tash, I'm begging the universe to let me stay with you, every second I send a new wish to whoever will listen."

She flung her arms around me and pulled me close to her, letting me hear her heartbeat once more.

"You'll always come back to me, that's all I need to Desi. I'll always be waiting for you."

"It's only four weeks, we can do this."

"We can do this."

"I love you, my beautiful, beautiful Natasha."

Neither of us said the word that would confirm what was happening as I pulled away and walked over to my waiting luggage. She held my hand as she walked me through the sliding doors and over to where Alex was waiting next to the check-in machines. We turned to each other and without saying a word, kissed again. This time I could feel the passion and urgency Natasha was giving off, and I returned in the same manner. When I finally pulled away and felt her hand drop from mine, I stood up straight and saluted at her. She laughed, and I'm so glad I chose to do that, because her laugh is one of my favourite sounds in the world, and now I had a fresh memory of it. She stood to attention and saluted back, before spinning around and marching away. I turned to Alex, with blurry eyes, and punched in my reservation number into the machine, confirming my trip back to California.

We when made the juddery stop on the Californian runway, I looked around and hoped no one clapped. Thankfully I had no reason to cringe, and I started to pack away the book that had kept me preoccupied from thoughts of her. Of course, as soon as I turned off aeroplane mode on my phone, I knew I would see a message from her, and I would text back to let her know I had made it safely, and all the hurt would resurface, but for the time being, I was free.

"Come on sleepyhead," I turned to my best friend who was groaning as he tried to stretch in the very small amount of space he had.

"That was the worst sleep of my life," he moaned as he leant down to grab his bag, knocking his head on the pull-out table in the process. "Shit!" He muttered to himself and sent me a glare when he heard my giggles.

"Aw, do you want me to kiss your boo boo better," I teased, pulling his forehead towards me and planting a kiss on his affected spot.

A middle-aged woman with a kind face walked past with all her luggage and stopped to say, "You guys are such a cute couple!"

Alex and I looked at each other and burst into laughter which obviously confused the lady, who was now looking uncomfortable. Alex turned to the woman, smiling at her, and said, "We both have girlfriends."

"Oh! I see, my bad, sorry kids." She blushed but we were adamantly telling her that it was okay, we were very used to it.

Once we were at the luggage claim waiting for our bags, I whipped out my phone and texted Natasha.

Tasha - Hey my love, let me know when you land safely.

Hey baby, I'm safe and waiting for my bags and parents. Miss you already.

Tasha - I miss you so much it hurts Desi. How was the flight?

It was good, I read most of the time. The funniest thing happened when we were leaving though!

Tasha - What?

Alex hit his head so obviously I kiss it better and a lady walked past and called us a cute couple.

Tasha - That would be funny if I wasn't your girlfriend who is going through withdrawal right now!!

We set her straight, Tasha, don't worry your pretty little head.

Tasha - Good. Just no more kissing anyone that isn't me, okay little miss?!

;( Not even my dearest parents?

Tasha - Okay, they're allowed. But no kissing anyone on the lips who isn't me.

I wouldn't want to Tasha, ever. Your lips are something else.

Tasha - I already want to feel yours again, Desi.

I know, I know.

Tasha - Soon.

Soon.

Tasha - I love you.

I love you too.

"DESI!"

I snapped my head up and ran towards the source of the sound and was soon engulfed by the arms of my parents. I pulled back and saw their smiling faces and the pain in my heart lessened a little bit. We would be okay.